mia pinchoff

#WhenIWas12IThought very little 🙌

@DizzelW woof. double whammy 😳

@MiaPinchoff Ask Bob Costas

i think i got baby poopie in my mother freakin EYE?!! WHAT DO I DO!?????

@fileerror404 🤣🤣🤣

@MiaPinchoff You get “Barbie Eye”.

i guess i’m on threads now. i be threadin! slide into my threads BABYYYY. i’ll probably post hilarious stuff there one day when i’m awake. so you should definitely follow me just in case. i miss twitter. and my YOUTH. k, time to pump 🍼🐮 @miapinchoff" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">threads.net/@miapinchoff

“omg don’t worry you’ll lose the baby weight in no time. breastfeeding burns like an extra 300 calories per day!!!” dude. that’s like uh bite of pizza… i just ate a pie

@NotTonkaToy_1 😹😹😹

@MiaPinchoff 😂😂😂 Wait till your next kid. You'll have the cat babysit them!

in 6 months i went from sanitizing the shit out of everything my baby puts in his mouth to accidentally passing him a cat toy to suck on 🫠

please stop setting off your janky ass fireworks - it’s July 1st you losers!!! chill out with your backyard kabooms we know your pee pee is tinyyyy also, my BABY IS ASLEEP.

@DonGetschman 😂😂😂😂

@MiaPinchoff Was he awake when you plucked all that hair off of him?

husband is not a fan of my postpartum shower art 😒

every time i think i’m having a moderately okay moment i realize i forgot to turn on the baby monitor 🫣

@Five8wilson what-?? i’m an artist 🙄

@MiaPinchoff Jesus Mia🤦🏾‍♂️😂

the best age to travel with kids: literally never

when my baby drinks from my tittie while simultaneously pooping himself it’s like his body becomes a weird straw that turns milk into shit 🤗

@Jennyablue yay!!! that makes me happy! this baby is killin me… starting to feel somewhat human again 👹

@MiaPinchoff Happy to see you on my tl.

my list of worries keeping my 5 month old alive britney spears paying bills in that order.

lost the super bowl and a sock 😑

NO SCREEN TIME!!! unless it’s Rihanna, duh 🙄

i’m happy my husband’s happy cuz he’s an @Eagles fan… but this is my super bowl babyyyyy 🤘🎈

is spoiled milk the new baby smell everyone raves about…??? i gotta get me some fine wine to go with this pungent little fromage 🤱🏻