michaeljarch

@TLKHoy @TheLovingPastor 🙌🏼🙌🏼

@TheLovingPastor @michaelarch

Just hear me out: If Biden called the vaccines “the Trump shot” with the same amount of enthusiasm Trump calls COVID “China Virus” there’d be a lot more people in line to get vaccinated. I mean, they did start making them under the Trump administration. 🤷🏼‍♂️ #justathought

I’ve cut several thousand people open in my career. About a sixteenth of an inch down, they all look the same.

@TLKHoy @RyanGoodroe Hahahaha!!

@RyanGoodroe @michaelarch

Hey pastors, you may want to think strategically about where your instrumentalists are placed on stage as you pray at the end of your sermon. Otherwise this (which is me) could be you.

July?! Are you kidding me? How?!

This kid just asked me if we could start a GoFundMe to raise money to get that crab a real casket.

Oh…and Poppa is currently purchasing a grave marker to put next to the dog’s spot. “Here lies Baby Crab”.

Y’all…a hermit crab we got on vacation last year died. 😬 My 5 year old is currently crying & funeral planning. He’s gonna say a few words and I have to come up with a song, then we’ll bury him in the yard. #RIPpet #parenting #sadlittleboy #hermitcrab

The fastest way to get blocked on #WordsWithFriends by me is to start a chat. Nope. Not today!! Sorry Aunt Helen. 😬

Being a parent to children under 6 is trying to remember the end to any movie I’ve watched in the last 6 yrs, but also wondering what the Paw Patrol is up to today in Adventure Bay.

I’d like to start a petition for ceiling fans in hotel rooms. Why isn’t this a thing?! #comeon

Can we normalize paying debts off as gifts for adults or no? Like, I don’t need a $5 DQ gift card, Aunt Becky, I need to get out from this mountain of debt. But thanks!! #idolovereceivinggiftcards #debt

Does anyone else get major anxiety when driving at night from their automatic brights switching on and off, or are you normal? #anxiety Stop flashing your lights at me. They’re just bright! *switches brights on, on purpose* “How you like me now, Karen?!”

@TLKHoy 😅

I don’t unwind well. Sports are usually “my escape.” However, I’ve been bingeing 90 Day Fiancé 😂 Yall@🤣

@TLKHoy @torben_kassler @ctankersley4

@torben_kassler @ctankersley4 @michaelarch

@TLKHoy @griffingulledge #DEAD

@griffingulledge @michaelarch

...and the Weeknd is over. 🙌🏼 #ComeOnMonday #seewhatididthere

🤔 I wonder what the comment section would look like under some of y’all’s names in the Lamb’s Book of Life if it was posted on social media. If it’s anything like what’s been posted related to politics, ya making the Lord nervous! Just. Hit. Delete! #zipyalip #zipyathumb #moveon

My 5 yr old asked me, “Daddy, what’s your favorite animal?” Me, trying to think of any animal on the planet while under pressure, “A zebra, buddy!” “A zebra? They don’t even have sharp teeth!!” #ohtheshame #carnivore #boydad

What the Monday after 2 major holidays during a pandemic feels like when you work in healthcare. #HELP #drowning #gettingnowhere