Ryan

@TimJDillon I want this month’s 6 dollars back. DM me for my Venmo

Big episode out right now.

@TimJDillon WHY AM I GIVING YOU 6 DOLLARS PIGGY

@TimJDillon where’s the fucking Patreon you slob

@verdantsand @brianonhere 🚨🚨We have a good student over here!

@brianonhere it’s 2025 if you haven’t done that shit yet… you’ve been too busy to hit up the dmv for five consecutive years? what are we doing man

Do i still need to get a Real ID or did we get rid of that part of the government

@romainxlettuce Are you engaged

maybe some internet validation will make me feel better

@kieralwellness Had a legit gag reflex after a dude sprayed some bullshit on himself in the locker room yesterday. And it was there 45 mins later after he was gone

I can’t even go into a mainstream gym anymore without the 10000 perfumes making me feel instantly nauseous. Don’t they know that artificial fragrance is banned in fertility clinics for a reason? We need to promptly discard modern gyms and bring back outdoor, cement-based, sunlit infrastructure (or the lack thereof).

@ChuckDriver @PaulSkallas 2/15 isn’t Valentine’s Day …

It went viral a little more than a week ago, appropriately on St. Valentine's Day. I had a similar experience when trying to remember who played the mother in Mr. Mom. I looked it up and found out it was Teri Garr. She died a week later. x.com/superficialxox…

didn't this clip of her on the airplane go viral like a week ago? And then she died?

@noelxroberts @RapidResponse47 @AGPamBondi Shut up dude

@RapidResponse47 @AGPamBondi Brace yourself — you’re about to retire some favorites. Movies you’ll never press play on again, artists you’ll skip without hesitation, politicians you’ll tune out for good, and businesses that’ll never see another cent from you

🚨 @AGPamBondi: I think tomorrow, you’re going to see some Epstein information being released by my office… A lot of flight logs, a lot of names. A lot of information.”

@bongoism What do you smell like 👀

hate when i see someone promoting beef tallow as a moisturizer bitch u smell like a slim jim

@asherdipps No

iPhone 17 Pro in Blue anyone?

@rmcentush Lotta people who don’t do shit in these comments 😂

my dad sat me down once and said: “There are only two jobs in the world: building or selling. If you’re not doing one of those, you’re just an expense.” still think about this.

@O1010lO @rmcentush Literally both

@rmcentush So which category does surgeon fall under ? Sorry dad

@Brink_Thinker The amount of Mac & Cheese and iPad screen time in 10s life is palpable

@ME71094827 @WallStreetApes She literally said “supossably”

I assume the President is going to collapse the IRS in the next 12 months because otherwise, firing this pleasant and well spoken woman, whose job was to help taxpayer's get their refunds, and their installment agreements and help them comply with the tax code, and whom the government already spent quite a bit of money training is otherwise, quite stupid.

I wish I could like this a thousand times IRS worker documents her journey going in and being terminated from The IRS. (It’s beautiful) “I'm no longer employed, I do not have my badge anymore — Time to go file for unemployment” Fire them all. Abolish The IRS!!! - Democrats wanted 87,000 additional IRS agents to target Americans - Trump is downsizing The IRS, with plans to Abolish The IRS

@spookyshah Nothing easier to spot than a woman whose dad didn’t give her what she needed

had a straight dude come to my place and he was SO impressed by the simplest things. art on the wall, rugs, a $40 knife block set. dudes are so fucking lame and pathetic lol they fr need a mommy to take care of them their whole lives

@1929stockcrash Her dad didn’t like her. These people are all over the internet

i think it’s a bit mean to have a guest come over and compliment your taste, your home and then you call them “fucking lame” and disparage them online for the audacity of being a polite visitor. that’s not very kind behavior

@PfistLL @GovernorShapiro Yeah the guy who signs bombs cares about local crime

@GovernorShapiro Sometimes it should not be about the money. I live in Colorado, and the state is going in the wrong direction - increased crime, increased homelessness, and increased automobile accidents, among others. Consider carefully - it is hard to go back once you cross that line!

Let’s not kid ourselves. Pennsylvanians who want to buy adult-use cannabis are just driving across the border to one of our five neighboring states where it's legal. Up to 60% of the customers at those stores just over the border are Pennsylvanians, and we’re losing out on an industry that will bring in $1.3 billion in new revenue to our Commonwealth. Let’s work together — Republicans and Democrats alike — and legalize adult-use cannabis.

@ultravlcz I always imagined she’d be pretty

this is how i always imagined that snow white would look like a human

@RandomTheGuy_ @ItsKingSlime Travel on the catch

NBA Hall of Famer Tracy Mcgrady just HUMBLED TF outta Tylil and walked off 🥶🥶

@OhUniverse_ @ItsKingSlime It’s not one of the greatest comebacks in NBA history it’s the greatest comeback by one athlete in the history of any sport

@ItsKingSlime 21 years ago, Tracy McGrady dropped 13 points in 33 seconds. 😳 Still, one of the greatest individual comebacks in NBA history.