beth xx

Ending the year fat, again

I feel like when I did go into work, I was able to fall asleep earlier though. I have no sense of a strict routine so I just stay up crazy late and have zero motivation. Strict routine made my ASD/adhd symptoms less. Cannot rely on myself to be accountable to a damn thing

Also I have severe adhd and am on the spectrum so I honestly think I need routine, as much as I hate it. Thank god my company is flexible bc I cannot get a sleep routine that makes sense. Revenge bedtime procrastination has me sleeping from 3 AM - 10 AM. So that’s also terrible

I am 30 & realizing I need to stop letting my age make me think it’s too late. I’m a baby adult! I can do whatever tf I want. I can change my career. I CAN take a pay cut and struggle for a bit if I really am desperate to try something new. 50 year old me would regret not trying

Been restricting for a month and only lost 2 lbs and on top of it I’m depressed as FUCK and hate my job and everything is so fucking meaningless

@helplessdaze Thank you lovely, you’re so kind ❤️

@minime_x Relapsing doesn’t mean you’ve undone the progress you made. Bumps happen but they’ll become further and further apart 💗 hope you’re okay my love

Relapsing in purging is so embarrassing (speaking personally), like oh no I ate more than I planned so put myself through the physical pain of throwing up😵‍💫 even though 3 weeks ago I committed to stopping. The annoying part is i just go back to slightly restricting instead

Nothing feels in my control, even more so than ever, so here I am restricting again

I’ve gained 5 pounds since this and it shows. I looked so good

tw bodycheck hello friends I know I am never active on here lately but I have somehow maintained a slightly lower BMI than previously but ANYWAYS nervous about warm weather almost here and not being how skinny I want to be RIP

@_matchabitch I’m so sorry ❤️

he has passed

Whenever I workout and am super sore I am up like 2-3 pounds the next day or 2. Should be illegal. I’m just trying to look toned 🙄

@CrxzyBitxh Omg i love them

The dogs have taken over its their bed now. 🐾 🐕 🐺

@imlosingitcompl Hi 💞💞

I feel so terrible for disappearing and withdrawing. It was actually good for me to be on here. And I miss my moots. I've been way too alone for several months now. This is not how I want my life to be. Also, say HI!

To be 30 years old and still having the worst relationship with food ever is so stupid. 5 years ago I thought maybe at 30 I would get a grip. I struggle so much & my eating habits are absolute trash. Starve all day and eat a bunch at night. Maintaining weight and dying to lose it

@lovrcal I fear this will be me

I miss being able to starve. Feels like I have zero control over anything anymore.

Hello friends, been awhile. going into turning 30 in a few days at BMI 19.4. Very upset. That is the only thing I’m thinking about.

@paralyzedAna Literally the worst😩