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@lovedropx Just went through a breakup (like 2 hours ago) with someone I had wanted to grow with for a long time. I know it will be alright. The pain can transform you in wonderful ways — just let it do its thing, and keep breathing. And moving. And singing. ❤️‍🩹

please somebody come and hold my hand and tell me it'll will be alright

Just broke up with someone I was hoping to keep growing with for a long time. My world feels torn apart, and still very much know it’ll be fine. I went out and put up flyers for my business and am now doing vocal exercises with a straw in bed. It really will be fine.

Heartbreak really is odd. I find myself saying “oh boy” a lot while it feels like I’m dying — and wondering if that’s how I’ll respond once I actually am (one day).

If I go out of my way for you, it’s not to earn your love. It’s because I want you to feel mine.

Loving and accepting people for their flaws has become a trope — like the nerdy-girl-becomes-popular thing from the 00s. It’s so much harder to love and accept people for their in-processness.

@JillianTurecki I’ll add that a relationship should support your growth — which can feel hard af. The key, as you said, is that it’s about being happier. And definitely not LESS happy.

A relationship is meant to make you happier, not happy. To add value to your life, not save you from your life. To add ease to your path, not burden your path. No one is coming to save you. But I do hope you choose the one who believes in you when you struggle to believe in yourself.

The “looking like” part. Like how when we slip or trip, we’ll dart our eyes around to see who saw before checking whether we hurt ourselves. It takes time and a crazy amount of effort, but learning to live in alignment with myself has been worth every bit of the pain along the way — and there’s no way I’m stopping now!

we're so afraid of looking like we care too much that we stop showing up fully for things we actually want, and we call it protecting ourselves. but really, we're just lonely with better excuses

We shrink ourselves, we shrink our world. We’ve gotta E X P A N D, babies! Literally everything depends on it.

I’d suggest that a lot of solo strategizing is a sign of insecurity, which is very layered — so while a fear of speaking up often indicates issues within the relationship, it can also be a learned response that doesn’t help us in our current context. Also would like to add that collaborative strategizing is different, and often very healthy.

Healthy relationships do not require a lot of strategizing. If you find yourself wondering "should I bring this up?" or "how can I word this so he won't be mad?", that's a bad sign. You shouldn't have to go through a bunch of D-Day level logistics to be able to speak your mind. If you can't, might be time to reconsider.

@ElMeIloi I loved it sooo much — but also read it while I was going through a tough breakup at my first-ever temp job. The people at that office furniture showroom must have thought I was nuts the few weeks I was there.

Finished 100 Years of Solitude. One of the best written books I’ve read. Will recommend it to exactly zero people.

@Be_like_legend Body doubling. Any interest? I used to host a daily Zoom and thinking of starting it back up

If you have ADHD, what actually triggers you to work? I can't do anything.

@simphiweyinkoc_ 41, and yep

At the age you are now… does your heart still believe in true love?

@drollconsumer @NathanpmYoung I’m genuinely glad and grateful that you are able to enjoy complete nourishment from sources that allow you to live in complete alignment with your values. 🫶🏼

I eat animals, but let's be real, it's probably bad.

@Favwontmiss Affirming to see how many of these are me. Two adjustments: 1) launch pad = fanny pack, 2) car = going for a walk.

5. They make the doctor call from the car. Anything with phone-call dread (dentist, bank, rescheduling) gets done in the car, engine off, before they walk in anywhere. No escape, no "later," no 4-day avoidance spiral. Trapping themselves on purpose is the only thing that beats the freeze.

HABITS I STOLE FROM ADHD ADULTS WHO ACTUALLY HAVE THEIR LIFE TOGETHER. Not the willpower people who burn out by March. The ones who quietly rigged their whole life so the brain can't sabotage it. Save this. Number 6 is the one nobody talks about.

Only answering for myself here, but it’s complicated: At the age of 4, I asked my parents why we were vegetarian (lacto veg) and they told me “to reduce suffering in the world”. And then they spent the next 3 years fighting with each other. Although I was always (and still am) obsessed with witnessing and protecting all creatures large and small, that’s the origin of the internal rift for me. I’ll also say that I never felt truly satisfied on a nutritional level until I began eating some amount of animal protein. These days, some combination of fish, eggs, and organ meat (chicken or cow liver especially) goes a long way — but even “limiting” myself to these animal products (which I don’t) is not a perfectly integrated solution. The truth is that I fight constantly to keep my witnessing obsession at a safe distance to be able to perform the basic functions of adulthood. Not ideal.

@NathanpmYoung why not stop eating animals then?

@NathanpmYoung Same boat, and I bet there are a lot of us. Would you be interested in joining a not-too-intense support group if I put one together? I can never tell what people are putting out there in earnest.

@kermit_lmao @Squeeze1i Somehow I think that means loving it more. But idk still working on it, please keep me posted.

@Squeeze1i Yeah I'm gonna have to kill that part of my brain somehow

Some neurodivergent people can receive every sign that they're valued. You talk every day. They remember what you say. They notice you. They stay even when you're awkward. And somehow your brain still whispers: But do they actually choose me... or am I just convenient to keep around?"

@allisonology Gut > heart > comment section > gut > mind

Which do you trust more? Put more faith into?

@danielbrottman The people who feel this way are the ones I tend to find myself most aligned with — but not exclusively.

personality typing systems never fail to annoy me

@elkelk Ideally Madlibs. Madlibs and mad giggling are for the witching hour.

what do people even do at night besides eat junk food and watch Netflix slop