Harry Misselbrook

“So what did 2008 Ronaldo actually do then?”

Suppose that once a week, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay £1. The sixth would pay £3. The seventh would pay £7. The eighth would pay £12. The ninth would pay £18. And the tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.　 So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every week and seemed quite happy with the arrangement until, one day, the owner caused them a little problem. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your weekly beer by £20.” Drinks for the ten men would now cost just £80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free but what about the other six men? The paying customers? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share? They realized that £20 divided by six is £3.33, but if they subtracted that from everybody’s share then not only would the first four men still be drinking for free but the fifth and sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.　 So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fairer to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage. They decided to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay. And so, the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (a 100% saving). The sixth man now paid £2 instead of £3 (a 33% saving). The seventh man now paid £5 instead of £7 (a 28% saving). The eighth man now paid £9 instead of £12 (a 25% saving). The ninth man now paid £14 instead of £18 (a 22% saving). And the tenth man now paid £49 instead of £59 (a 16% saving).　 Each of the last six was better off than before with the first four continuing to drink for free.　 But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got £1 out of the £20 saving,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got £10!“　 “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a £1 too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”　 “That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get £10 back, when I only got £2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”　 “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!” The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.　 The next week the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important – they didn’t have enough money between all of them to pay for even half of the bill!　 And that’s how it works. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy and they just might not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.　 For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

MCTOMINAY!! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 UNBELIEVABLE! 😲 #BBCFootball

IT HAD TO BE HIM!! CRISTIANO RONALDO WITH THE EQUALIZER!! THE ONE AND ONLY 🐐

Just put it on a tee. It’s the exact same height off the ground and the superintendent doesn’t want to choke you. This is dumb. Anyone who argues is just stewpid or showing off.

⚽ 10' Man United 1-0 Lyon ⚽ 45' Man United 2-0 Lyon ⚽ 71' Man United 2-1 Lyon ⚽ 78' Man United 2-2 Lyon ⚽ 105' Man United 2-3 Lyon ⚽ 109' Man United 2-4 Lyon ⚽ 114' Man United 3-4 Lyon ⚽️ 120' Man United 4-4 Lyon ⚽️ 120' Man United 5-4 Lyon 𝐖𝐓𝐅 - IT'S 7-6 AGGREGATE🤯

Dreams do come true.

People think Salah is better than this guy.... 🤣🤣🤣

@NonLeagueHeroes @BeddallStuart the return 👀

BREAKING NEWS! Colney Heath FC have parted ways with manager Matt Day Matty, who took over at the start of last season and guided the club a brilliant 8th finish in the league, but this season losing key players just hasn’t got the team where they need to be. Who’s next for the Colney Heath job?

He might be the most lied about player ever. Even his own fans don't even put enough respect on his name 😭😭😭

@matthew_lee1 @BeddallStuart @samuel_lake99 🤣🤣 unreal scenes

@BeddallStuart @samuel_lake99 @misselbrookh7 Nearly as impressive as @samuel_lake99 trying to beat a man in the box away at totternhoe

@misselbrookh7 still the closest thing to this you’ll ever see!!

@BeddallStuart @footballtweet The toe is well and truly on the mend🙏👀🥳

@misselbrookh7 @footballtweet Get the toe sorted and we can get back to it!!! 👀👀

Wayne Rooney & Steven Gerrard literally made a generation of kids scream "ROOONEYYYYY" &"GERRARDDDD" every time they hit the ball. 🔝 Legends of the game. 👏

@BeddallStuart @footballtweet Was living the dream mate screaming scholeeessssss everytime u rip one of the laces

@footballtweet @misselbrookh7

“Without any natural talent” Absolute nonsense, the disrespect Cristiano gets is laughable. These app ratings have really cooked their brains.

@BeddallStuart @RadioGenoa @matthew_lee1 🤣🤣🤣

@RadioGenoa @misselbrookh7 @matthew_lee1

Which pronouns should be used in this case?

@BeddallStuart @SundayChants Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

@SundayChants It’s no @misselbrookh7

8.1 on the Trevor Sinclair scale. Absolute bins.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 moment. Joe Root goes above Sir Alastair Cook to score the most Test hundreds for England 🐐

You've done us proud, Scott. 🎞️❤️ #MUFC

WHAT. IT. MEANS. 🤍