Kahle McCann

What's the Punisher's favorite hot beverage? Probably VigilanTea

The Boy Who Was Fire @fallonbookclub

At what age are elements of horror in children's literature appropriate?

Aw. I remember this. ...now the first thing he does is kick me or get in my face to see if he can get out of bed to watch tv

Every morning, after I turn on the light, the first thing my son does is check to see if I still have a belly button... And now I'm worried he knows something I don't.

Nice to see I still have reach

A Girl Called Gale illustration by @MikeGreenholt

Now that I've established engagement... want to preorder my new book? @Kickstarter #childrensbooks #nature #Istilldontknowhowtousehashtags Kickstarter.com/projects/-mkm-…

My first post since Twitter became X. Woah what a rush.

@joeclabby I say "Postmates" after every online order I make while playing chess. Pretty confusing. But infrequent!

I say checkmate after every move I make in chess. Very annoying. But fun!

@jimmyjohns he's still into it

@ShawnGnandt @joeclabby Spoken like someone who hates Microsoft and organization

You ever just stare at a spreadsheet you’ve created and just admire it? Like just take it in for a while?

@joeclabby I guess. I don't really do spreadsheets much and the few I've done require too much maintenance. I'm more of a Word guy.

@mkahlem Hmmm. Could be a commentary on your Excel skills, no?

@joeclabby Inevitably they'll merge into Natalie Portpersons, invent a new pronoun, and become the icon of a generation

The existence of Natalie Portman implies the existence of a Natalie Portwoman. Who I guess is a hot man?

@kjackvo My 1 yr old does that... minus the spoon and secrecy

Anyone else eat marinara with a big spoon like soup when no one is watching?? (No pasta. Nothing in it) just spoonfuls of delicious goodness.

There comes a time in life when you just have to say: There are too many frisbees in the bathroom.

@joeclabby Also true of floor space

The first law of bedroom-chair-dynamics theorizes that clothes in a neither clean nor dirty state will expand to fit and occupy the number chairs in the bedroom thus leaving no bedroom chairs for actual sitting.

@kjackvo He talks now?! Isn't he like 6 months old? Time is weird

My son just asked me what I’m doing today. I said I’m doing a Dungeons & Dragons show at a studio. His eyes lit up “You’re doing a DRAGONS show!?! Can I bring Popcorn??” He’s now convinced I tame dragons as a job. 🐉 🎪 💜 . #TheDungeonRun

@neilhimself Have you been spending a lot of time in the South? Aside from the word "entitled," intent and phrasing is spot on

Bless your sweet, entitled little heart.