UncleMonkeyTrades

I hope I can ever love someone again as much as I did my father. He knew my strengths and weaknesses, my secrets and my embarrassments. He was my Sherpa in addition to being my moral compass. There will NEVER be another ‘Big Mike’ to me. Shoutout to baby bro for the carnations. You raised two good men that you are/were/still proud of. Not every dad was able/willing to do that. I hope you’re rocking in heaven as well as you did down here. We love and miss you pops. Hug your love one’s, friends. I can’t stress that enough.

@FearedBuck Parents usually just chipped in for a limo and everyone had a blast. This “flexing” doesn’t translate into the real world and the parents subsidize/finance this. Sorry Gen Z. Have fun though!

This kid went all out for his prom with two supercars and a private jet 💀

@theoilgod @gurgavin They’re looking for retail liquidity. Any institution worth their junior analyst isn’t trading this with a rivals money.

@gurgavin GameStop trying to artificially pump that stock price up. Make millions before they head for the exit. One last hoorah. $GME boys are we back? 😂

JUST IN : GAMESTOP IS LOOKING TO ACQUIRE EBAY PER WSJ GAMESTOP COULD SUBMIT OFFER FOR EBAY AS SOON AS THIS MONTH GAMESTOP IS CURRENTLY WORTH $11.9 BILLION EBAY IS CURRENTLY WORTH $46.6 BILLION $GME $EBAY

@EvieParkour @mwhalo118 And who qualifies as an expert if not the parent?

@mnshurricane @mwhalo118 The best outcome for children is parents who allow experts to make decisions in how the kids grow up.

Homeschooling needs to be made illegal - full stop. The only exception to such a law would be if you can PROVE your child is mentally or physically incapable of attending public school. In which case at home visits from a public educator would be permitted.

@EvieParkour @mwhalo118 Aren’t you just a ray of sunshine for the beginning of spring? Please publish the “Perfect guide to Parenting” when you have time.

@mwhalo118 Don’t care - I hope your daughter leaves soon as I can only assume she resents you for hurting her on the daily via verbal and emotional abuse.

@FandomAnxiety @AGemAccumulator @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW Well, we disown you.

@mnshurricane @AGemAccumulator @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW Gen Z? I was born in 94. I’m a millennial.

What is your excitement level for this out of 10?

@FandomAnxiety @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW You clearly never read the books. Snape is the most complex and arguably most clever character in the entire series. Put the Xbox down for an hour and read a book.

@mnshurricane @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW Like I’m going to call the biggest piece of shit in the world by his proper title. I’m not showing him any respect. Harry doesn’t even call him Professor unless he’s being forced to, in the book

@FandomAnxiety @AGemAccumulator @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW Woah, Gen Z. You miss your Zoloft/Wellbutrin/Lexapro dose this morning? Didn’t mean to violate your safe space.

@AGemAccumulator @mnshurricane @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW I meant before that point you fucking retard

@FandomAnxiety @Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW Then why refer to him as “Black” Snape and not PROFESSOR Snape?

@Thebackmarker21 @PotterWorldW I’m not going to think of his race when that happens. I’m just going to see him as a guy, not his skin color.

@gwotgruntvet @nypost So would I….

@nypost I want him to be the judge for the lawsuit.

Bombshell sex harassment suit against Lorna Hajdini, JPMorgan branded 'complete fabrication' as John Doe unmasked trib.al/lwsWCbT

@Persimmon_Blade @RpsAgainstTrump She’s 18. She’s an adult. Time to grow up. Life is unfair. Tough shit.

@RpsAgainstTrump Not a Trump fan, but you’ve gotta be some kind of dirt bag to make an effort to go over and directly insult an 18 year old because of who her granddad is.

Kai Trump says “50% of the world” doesn’t like her because of her last name. “One time I was out in public and someone literally walked up to me to tell me that my grandpa sucks. And I said: thank you so much for taking the time to say that.” Yeah, nobody should harass you because of your last name. And it’s not your fault your grandfather is the worst president in American history.

@FoxNews Didn’t she get primaried?

“I am one of the 535 most powerful people in this country.” Democrat Rep. Jasmine Crockett says she won’t tolerate “disrespect”: "The level of disrespect that is continuously lobbed against us as Black women, you know, for me, I’m like, 'Wait a minute now. I am one of the 535 most powerful people in this country, and for some reason you think we on the same level, but you going to disrespect me?' Like, it’s not going to happen."

@_dem__boys @MercuriusFilius “Distance with CARS” plural. They want to know how far each car travels not if one can reach the edestination.

@MercuriusFilius 2083.33 mi - all drive 250m - car D tops others off - cars A, B, C drive 333.33m - car C tops of A and B - cars A and B go 500 m - car B tops off car A - car A goes 1000 m Assumption: tanks are full. if each tank starts at 25%, you could get 4000 by consolidating at the start

How would you answer this common Goldman Sachs interview question?

@LibertyCappy Ever been in a crowded elevator? Add pollution and shitty emission standards.

What is going on in India? 🧐 Why is India so hot compared to other countries right now, even other countries in similar latitudes are at much different temperatures... What is causing this?

@AllieJade1 Either he eats that or he goes to bed hungry. If he keeps ruining dinner for the family, he’s getting the paddle. This is why restaurants are intolerable now. Parents want to be their kids friends instead of parents.

This young couple brought home takeout hamburgers for dinner. Their son took one look at his burger and had a full-on meltdown. He wasn’t happy with how it looked and insisted it wasn’t what he wanted or how burgers are supposed to look. We’ve all seen these videos where kids flip the switch and start crying and throwing a tantrum. Towards the end of the video, the mom knows he wasn’t going to eat the burger and so offers a chicken nugget instead. Are the parents handling this correctly? Is there a real difference in the way different generations handled these kinds of flip-outs? Are today’s parents getting it right, or are they doing their kids a disservice by not teaching them to regulate their emotions?

@RepShriThanedar Celebrating abortion policy is ridiculous regardless of your politics. This is clearly an erroneous/medical outcome otherwise this wouldn’t be the treatment sought. Why would either side want to celebrate irresponsible sexual behavior, health issues or the loss of a future child?

My favorite kind of abortion is the kind that's safe, legal, accessible, and none of your damn business to regulate. And no amount of fearmongering by describing what goes on to a half-ounce fetus with no consciousness, self-awareness, or feeling of pain is going to change that.

@Clavicular0 That’s like chumming the water for great whites and expecting not to get bit.

When I was in the hospital on life support a girl was begging Mitchell for my AMEX credit card (he said no). The consistent theme of girls trying to use me for money is brutal for a young guy trying to navigate a complex society. Hopefully I can find a good girl whos intent is to not to screw me over and take my money.

@whysoangrylol @WhiteHouse @m_fernandez60 100%. Fire the Gen Z and find an adult(if they can). Societal standards have completely collapsed.

@WhiteHouse @m_fernandez60 You can't be responding to shit like this. You are an official account. Who ever is in charge if this account needs to grow the fuck up.

Patriot passport unlocked. 🦅 Limited edition. Stamped for America 250. 🇺🇸

@WhiteHouse @m_fernandez60 This is the official account for the The White House. And this is what a Gen Zer thinks is appropriate. How far have we fallen?

@m_fernandez60 What about this one Mike??

@RoKhanna Maybe you should read this first before posting that…. phys.org/news/2026-04-f…

I co-introduced historic legislation to increase the minimum wage to $25. As someone who taught economics at Stanford, here is why it makes sense. The real minimum wage was $14 in 1968. Today it is half, but productivity has increased 2.5x. Instead of extractive capitalism, we need a free enterprise system that pays workers what they are worth.

@WhiteHouse Even by his standards, this is LOW.

TWO KINGS. 👑