just a little guy

this would catch a lot of you

the grammar police released me on parole

my superpower is that i can look at someone and know if they’re being cheated on

i’m tip toeing all around this city

driving wit no panties on

Tfw my husband and I catch the pool boy fucking the au pair and we’re both crying a lot for no reason

sneaking arby’s into my apartment under a blanket like you’d do with your ugly step kid

third eye blind so good

hey do you wanna go to the trader joes parking lot and get in cars way? no worries if not

the creator of the universe is mad at me

i get so gay off that amoxicillin

i’m in your dads bedroom. do not come in here

i feel like a cat wearing little boots

creating an incubus themed bar

do you want the hot dog tour?

help i’m trapped in the trunk of your car

when couples hoard together on hoarders i do find it pretty romantic

my guardian angel is selling drugs out the back of her CRV

lesbians i love u

a single mom? she works two jobs. she loves her kids? she never stops.