Mojo the menace

Looking for some tech support @verynetwork. How do these clothes work? Which bit of genitalia is used to operate them? Daughter likes them but we are concerned her vulva will render them inoperable. Please advise.

@jk_rowling Do you think you’ll ever get to the point where you’ve had enough attention?

To those celebrating the fact that I'm smoking a blunt: it's a cigar. Even if it decided to identify as a blunt for the purposes of this celebration, it would remain objectively, provably and demonstratively a cigar.

@HeinzUK when will you end this torture? My kid only eats three things and now it’s two. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THIS BRITISH INSTITUTION?? Will they ever return to their natural, god given form? #RichmondSausagesAreBoak

@LeeAndersonMP_ Back from who? Which country? Aren’t you supposed to represent more than one? Cos I just checked mine and it’s still there.

Reform Gain. The political tsunami continues. And more defections incoming. We will get our country back.

@TiceRichard So are all the babies you’d rather see drowned than offered asylum. Another direct result of “Reform” rhetoric. This is like standing on the roof of a house that you set fire to and crying it’s too hot.

He is dead…. you heartless, arrogant moron Dead

Problematic skits aside, Giles was the best Prime Minister we ever had. #PMQs

@Georgismum @HazelAppleyard_ @AnnelieseDodds @FCDOGovUK @educationgovuk What’s the truth?

@mojothemenace @HazelAppleyard_ @AnnelieseDodds @FCDOGovUK @educationgovuk Just admit you're too cowardly to tell the truth, Mojo.

Honoured to be appointed Minister for International Development at @FCDOGovUK & Women and Equalities at @educationgovuk. I will rebuild our development reputation in genuine partnership with the Global South to deliver economic growth, climate action, and equality in all we do.

@HazelAppleyard_ @AnnelieseDodds @FCDOGovUK @educationgovuk Just say you’re scared of what you don’t understand, Hazel.

@AnnelieseDodds @FCDOGovUK @educationgovuk How can you be the minister for women if you don’t even know what one is?

@KM_newsroom @Nigel_Farage @reformparty_uk There’s 33 people there. Are the rest hiding in a fridge?

Hundreds of people have gathered outside the Great Danes Hotel near Maidstone for @Nigel_Farage who is giving a talk on @reformparty_uk 🔊

Dawg watching the news and thinking this could be the moment we all forget about the time he said he was gonna find Brian Laundrie #JaySlater

@Chrissibuzz7 @ccwild79 Of course there are. But they are charities. Overwhelmed and underfunded trying to do a job the government are shirking responsibility for.

@ccwild79 Are there organisations that can support these young people? Visit when they see the place or move in? Check the room, supply donated basics like bedding, curtains, toiletries? Is there a way people wanting to help could link with those young people?

Imagine being 16 -years -old and this was your bedroom in your new home supplied by the local authorities. This is the reality for many young people (not all) in our care system facing uncertainty. Most are forced into independence, called young adults ans made to pay bills, rely on food vouches and somehow survive. #changeiscoming

@PaulRitchiepr Great. Let’s put Tripachew in charge.

I took so much acid in 1996 that I ended up wandering around a beach party when it was almost afternoon, asking people when the sun would come up. My grasp on reality was still better than this. #GeneralElection2024

In the last five years I’ve broken two phones and let one float out to sea in my shoe. I still have #WhatsApp messages from 2018. Isn’t that how it works? #CovidEnquiry #WhatsAppGate

@darrengrimes I’d rather back Red Rum, mate.

Just found The Dark Lord’s toenail in a packet of @GoldenWonderUK Thanks Beezebub. Fewmin. Kids r cryin now thx. My kid only eats like 5 things, and now it’s 4.

@BorisJohnson I’ve got a Calor fire that gives me less gaslight than you.

Four years on from Brexit we celebrate the restoration of this country’s democratic power to make its own laws and rules. With those Brexit freedoms we have introduced improved standards for animal welfare, cut taxes on sanitary products, created greater flexibility for cutting edge industries from financial services to bioscience, done many global free trade deals - and it was at least partly thanks to Brexit that this country had the fastest covid vaccine rollout in Europe. We must retain the appetite and the courage to diverge from the low-growth high-regulation European model. We must at all costs avoid a return to anything remotely like the disastrous “Chequers” formula whereby artificial concerns about the border between Northern Ireland and Ireland are used to keep the whole of the UK in alignment with EU rules.

@LozzaFox I think I saw you fumble your way through a few episodes of Morse with no Morse and a shit British film about a hole. I’m not convinced that’s a “career”. Are you confusing “career” with “attention”.

I haven’t slept a wink, so forgive me if this is rambling. Thoughts on yesterday’s judgement. 6 times judges have now been asked to define what a racist is. Still no answer. The court of appeal specifically asked the judge in this case to define the word. And yet she has not. It baffles me as to how a term which has not been defined can be defamatory or not. Surely in order to determine defamation, you would need to know what the meaning of the alleged defamatory term is? The judge has dodged this question by saying that no suffered serious harm has been suffered by myself. If losing your entire career does not meet the threshold for serious harm, then I don’t know what does. It is also now free rein for anyone to call anyone a racist and there’s nothing you can do about it. It also makes the word racist itself utterly meaningless. What the court has decided is that if you are called a racist and you lose your job, you cannot fight back. You cannot defend yourself. You just have to suck it up. Like a playground brawl where someone walks up to another and punches them in the face and you aren’t allowed to fight back or defend yourself. There are several avenues to appeal. I have after all appealed this case before and won, so we shall see. I have to believe the justice system will find the right way in the end. Regardless of this belief, I feel utterly bereft and totally hopeless.

@UKLabour Was this tweet written on Oct 6th 2023?

Today, we remember the six million Jews murdered in the Holocaust, all the victims of Nazi persecution and the victims of more recent genocides in Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia and Darfur. Let us learn the lessons from the past and work towards a better future. #HMD2024

Anyone else doing the #BigGardenBirdWatch this weekend? Will this even work? We’re currently without nuts and balls 🤣

@EndWokeness I’ve had trade companies tell me they can’t guarantee the safety of women on-site. Not because we’re somehow inherently more of a safety risk, but because men just don’t seem to be able to stop sexually assaulting us…

Firefighters- 88% men Construction- 94% men Combat troops- 84% men Trash collectors- 95% men Cable installers- 95% men Road builders- 96% men Iron workers- 94% men Coal miners- 96% men Electricians- 96% men Plumbers- 99% men Notice how the feminists never complain about these gender gaps… I wonder why.