Tim Long

CONVERSATION I JUST HAD: ME: Two Thin Mints please GIRL SCOUT: That’ll be $10. Or you can get four boxes for $20! ME (gentle): Um, that’s not a savings GIRL SCOUT (NOT gentle): NO ONE SAID IT WAS ... ME: Four boxes would be great.

@mschlapp Oh thank God, I was waiting for your highly informed expert opinion, fuckwad

Bad Bunny was bad

THIS JUST IN: Pedophile carries water for pedophile

@WhiteHouse this video is evil and disgusting. Do not ever involve me or my music to benefit your inhumane agenda.

All my co-workers know I'm a Blue Jays fan, and today they're treating me like my whole family died. So I just want to reassure everyone — this is much, much worse than that.

SOUTHSIDE CHICAGO — Windy City residents run off immigration agents to save a man mid-abduction at 63rd and Kostner Ave.

@WeAreSinclair BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Beginning Tuesday night, Sinclair will be preempting Jimmy Kimmel Live! across our ABC affiliate stations and replacing it with news programming. Discussions with ABC are ongoing as we evaluate the show’s potential return.

@WhiteHouse All lies. Go fuck yourselves, all of you.

"Deficits are DOWN, Taxes are DOWN, Energy is DOWN, Prices generally are DOWN, the only things that are UP are, Take Home Pay, the Stock Market, and our Country, which is the “HOTTEST” anywhere in the World." 🔥- President Donald J. Trump

That was one of the most batshit press conferences of Trump's public life. He brandished a photo of Putin and promised to deploy the US military to occupy Chicago, New York, and San Francisco. A sane country would be moving toward impeachment and removal right now.

@MarcNixon24 Are you kidding? It's not like people were still voting. Also, is there any doubt that if the roles were reversed, Pollievre would do the same?

Watch Mark Carney say he is looking forward to working with Bruce Fanjoy. The final vote has not even been counted yet. This is not something to joke around about.

@ron_halliday @CanadianPolling Huh. But in the link you attached, the Conservatives are listed as merely "leading" in two of their ridings, which implies they could flip.

@mrtimlong @CanadianPolling In the very real and accurate sense. newsinteractives.cbc.ca/elections/fede…

Alright that's that! The Liberals will walk away with a minority government, just a couple seats shy of a majority

This brilliant cartoon clearly explains what happened in the Oval Office and Trump’s secret conversation with Putin. It’s in Ukrainian with English subtitles. Share it with anyone who keeps repeating russian propaganda.

A man who’d release 1,600 of his most violent supporters will most certainly jail 1,600 of his most vocal enemies. It’s coming. This will be Patel’s mission. Does the senate care?

"Shame on you...and shame on us if we allow this to go on." Steve Scaffidi called out CBS 58 today regarding the unjust firing of meteorologist Sam Kuffel for criticizing Elon Musk's salute. Hear more from the Political Power Hour: wtmj.com

shame on @CBS58 for firing Sam Kuffel for naming @elonmusk’s Nazi salute shame on @DanODonnellShow for mobilizing trolls to harass her & call for her job this dark chapter of our country’s history will eventually be over and we’ll all remember who showed integrity & who didn’t

@bains_babe Totally for you!

@Startuplifepro Hey thank you so much for this lovely note! A wonderful balm at the end of a truly awful day.

@mrtimlong Desperately Seeking Lisa was 1 of my favorite Simpsons episodes ever - the throwback NYC in the 80s, & “exploring bohemian demimonde with a bunch of effete gadabouts” haha the Bart Mad Men references & nod to After Hours or Joan Didion balloon, incredibly well written

Just as a reminder: here’s a picture of Trump and his staff celebrating House repeal of the ACA