Matthew St. Louis

my bro who divorced 2 weeks ago told me this: “all of us are selective sinners. we choose the sin we are comfortable with, and judge others that commit the ones we are not comfortable with.”

I’m not talking about cheese I’m talking about sauce

Immune system: *raises body temp to kill the bacteria* Me: *takes medicine* Immune system;

@Slamy93283507 @wpri12 Noooooo

@wpri12 @mstlo

A popular pizza chain with one restaurant in Fall River and three locations in Rhode Island plans to close 300 stores by the end of 2027. wpri.com/business-news/…

as my first act of love, i'm going to ragebait you

scientists are calling me “the one person that is allowed to put q-tips into their ear canal” say things like “she’s just so careful” and “i don’t know how she does it”

Don’t worry your secret is safe with me and my girlfriend.

45 degrees in new england & im driving around with my sunroof open like its the middle of summer

Show him a banger when he opens the app and then make it disappear

i dropped my iphone in McDonalds Sprite and that mf started charging

the cartel kinda gay for caring about a man this much

me as a drug dealer *giggling* “we don’t have coke is pepsi okay”

Instructor: “Welcome to Salsa class. Who’s ready to learn how to dance?” Me: Hiding a bag of tortilla chips… “I think there’s been a misunderstanding.”

“I really admire your courage to speak in the absence of knowledge" 😭😭

I still can’t get over the fact that getting hammered at a Chinese restaurant is like a foreign concept to people outside of New England

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How tf subway INSIDE Walmart out of lettuce 🤨 Nigga go get it

my biological glock is ticking

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy