E.J. Nerdburgler

@Xmusknewsx A. Yes

A man in Spain raped a 13-year-old girl. After prison, he taunted her mother: “How’s your daughter?” Enraged, she set him on fire, causing his death.She got 5.5 years but was pardoned early. Do you support this mother? A. Yes B. No

Show off the snaps of your pet on the sofa Starting with mine. We have no dogs on the sofa rule too 😂

@GOP_is_Gutless That's fine. They're welcome to come here and do their job.

Anyone have a problem with this?

@its_The_Dr "Mount Midol"

Can you name it?

I smoked your G.O.A.T while you were fucking your goat.

@RachelT1722 "Mighty" Maybe that was true, around 250 years ago.

You're 250 years old? That's cute, mighty England will be 1,099 years old on the 12th July 🥴

@BradRTorgersen Had a blue and a red. Thankfully, both expired. Enough traveling.

"MoSt aMErIcAnS doN'T EvEn hAVe A paSSPoRt!!" Dear Eurobaiter, I not only have the blue kind I use for visiting your nation if I feel like it, I have the red kind I use when the Department of Defense sends me to hellholes because your country won't pay its NATO defense bill.

@CumbrianFella_ You lot are still on about what happened in 1776? The US has surpassed the UK in pretty much every metric, but hey you got a university older than the US. Yay? I guess?

Proud to be English over the past couple of days. We’ve managed to trigger all the Americans on their greatest day of the year simply by stating facts. Oxford University is 700 years older than USA.

@UziCryptoo Factor in taxes, utilities and other costs between the two states. I make over $50 an hour and would have a hard time making it in California.

“TEXAS IS CHEAPER THAN CALIFORNIA” Rent Los Angeles: $2,656 Dallas: $1,588 Minimum wage Los Angeles: $18.42/hr Texas: $7.25/hr Hours worked for rent Los Angeles: 2656 ÷ 18.42 = 144 Dallas: 1588 ÷ 7.25 = 219 You have to work 50% more to afford rent in Texas. That’s more than two weeks EVERY month. Let that sink in

America turns 250 today. Let me read back the resume. We started by telling a king to pound sand, in writing. By 1803 we bought half a continent from France for about four cents an acre. We fought a war with ourselves and somehow stayed one country. We strung a railroad across the entire thing. We handed the world the lightbulb, the telephone, and the airplane in about thirty years flat. Then a man named Willis Carrier invented air conditioning and made half the planet actually livable. You are welcome, Texas. You are welcome, Dubai. Twice the whole world caught fire, and twice we showed up and helped put it out. We split the atom. We put men on the moon in 1969. Then we went back and hit golf balls up there, because why not. We invented jazz, blues, rock and roll, and hip-hop, and the whole planet is still dancing to it. We put a burger and fries on every corner of the earth. We built rockets that fly themselves home and land standing straight up. We flew a helicopter on Mars. We launched a car into actual space and it is still out there cruising. We also invented ranch dressing and somehow talked the entire world into putting it on pizza. Priorities. We even invented three of our own sports so we could win them. Baseball, basketball, and football. Real football, the kind with hands, because we named it and we are not taking corrections. The rest of the planet can keep soccer, which is fine, we are hosting it in our backyard this summer anyway. And yes, Canadian football exists, wider field, extra man, one fewer down, and we try very hard not to think about it. Frankly it was generous of us to invent our own games. If we put all that energy into soccer, nobody else would ever lift that trophy again. We would win it so often they would just rename it the America’s Cup and hand us the keys. You are welcome for the suspense. And in 2026 we threw a birthday so big a German tourist live-tweeted our gas stations to 750,000 people. Not every chapter was clean. We argued, we stumbled, we fixed what we broke, and we kept building. That is the whole trick. Two hundred and fifty years in, and we are still the loudest, brightest, most improbable experiment on the map. Not bad for a country that started as a strongly worded letter to a king. Happy birthday, America. 🦋

Everything they taught you about July 4th, 1776 is a lie. The Redcoats weren't soldiers. They were something else. We recovered the real footage using Utopai 🧵👇

250 years, and your empire has been reduced to a single island the size of Michigan, with a GDP barely higher than Mississippi, the poorest of our fifty states. Enjoy your warm beer in that unairconditioned old pub. Don’t talk too much shit online though, you might get arrested.

@ThrillaRilla369 Yes, but only if necessary.

Be honest Even if an intruder is unarmed, should you still be allowed to shoot them for breaking into your house...?🤔

@HelmerVA @jonesjay Sounds like gun grabber bullshit to me. GFYS.

Virginians voted for action on gun violence, and we delivered. Per AG @jonesjay, Virginia's Assault Weapons Ban is in effect today. Now Trump's DOJ is suing to stop it. I won't back down. I'll keep fighting to protect our communities and our right to live free from gun violence.

@EdKrassen Earned these in 1989. Have I been displaying "Nat-zee" paraphernalia on my uniform all this time?

@DOGEQEEN No problem. ID should be required to vote.

What's your response?

@Ryan_Parkerrr Let me guess. You've never tried to buy a gun. If you had, you'd realize you should delete this before they start dumping on you in the comments.

HEY MAGA, IF YOU'RE SUDDENLY SO "PRO ID," ARE YOU OK WITH THE SAME ID RULE FOR GUN PURCHASES, TOO?

@itsrosesm Fine. ID should be checked and verified before voting.

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU SHOWED UP TO VOTE IN NOVEMBER AND I.C.E. OFFICERS MADE YOU SHOW I.D. FIRST?

JUST IN: Democrats are now warning that more than 350,000 people could face deportation following a single Supreme Court ruling.

@AzPetrich Hyuck'

This is Jonathan Ross. He's the ICE agent who shot and murdered Renee Good in cold blood 170 days ago. He has yet to be arrested and indicted for his crime.