Mike Somers

@evadentz since when where there 31 months ... checkmate

well no because it says expires 3/31/89

@sailingbikeruk Did someone stutter when they said AntiTrust?

One more reason to bin Microsoft.

Seriously just own the branding. Tindr did it and it looks like a spelling mistake. Ffs #theapprentice

If there is any learning by from actual branding in the past few years is that spelling doesn’t matter. If they get pulled up on chique they should won it #theapprentice

“Dangly fun bits” is 100% how Kieran refers to his cock and balls #theapprentice

Voice notes for dogs. I half get it but it’s a no from me #theapprentice

@CountBinface Also it’s a clunge if cunts

EASTER EXCLUSIVE! It’s officially a _____ of c***s. Read the intergalactic Count Binface newsletter for the amazing results, including some very creative suggestions. Out now at Ed4leader.co.uk andy4leader.co.uk and yvette4leader.co.uk

@CountBinface Website no work :(

@BeermattMatt @J1603Kevin @PolitlcsUK The website is not user friendly at all. Constant ads - needs a native app tbh

@J1603Kevin @PolitlcsUK Not real time, and Google will be way more user friendly

🚨 NEW: The Government says bus passengers in all of England will be able to start tracking their bus in real time through Google Maps from tomorrow

@KatieGrace2022 @Shauns_Aviation @AerLingus How many Ryanair flights are there in Australia?

@Shauns_Aviation @AerLingus It’s ok - it’s April 1st in Australia !

.@AerLingus have joined in on the fun with Ryanair😂😂

@Dominos_UK You should probably have words then …. Hypocrites

FISH DOES NOT BELONG ON PIZZA

@IcelandFoods You realise this just looks silly as you posted it before April 1st? Amateurs

Just what the Dr ordered...we present to you our GIANT DARLIC BREAD Tear 'n' Share! 👽🛸 It may look like it's landed from another world, but one bite in and you'll realise it's been engineered for maximum flavour...available in-store & online from 1st April 🏃

@eonenergyuk are you aware you solar install provide @GivEnergy are sending emails out to customers stating "we know we've not been great but give us some money and we'll be better for the app you were provided"? what kind of scam is this? @MartinSLewis

@CountBinface A Clunge

What is the collective noun for a group of c***s?

So in star trek enterprise et al with “The Burn” why didn’t the romulans take over the universe … they used quantum singularities instead of dilithium didn’t they. #StarTrek

@2147mill and who owns the rental properties ...?

The average UK mortgage is £200,000 at 5% over 25 years. Total repayment? £350,000. You borrow £200K and pay back £350K. £150,000 straight to the bank. For nothing. Then you pay to fix up the house. Stuff breaks. You pay insurance monthly. Fees when/if you sell the property. And we act like renting is throwing money away. There is a strong argument for renting.

So @Tesco why is there a price difference of 10p across fuel stations within a 5 mile radius? Can’t blame gov tax for that price gouging can you? #FuelRipOff #ProfiteeringFuckers

First point of the new @BrewDog regime @BrewDogMancs #Manchester #Birthday

@jesuisuntomatoe everyone involved in that F1 movie who is part of F1 should resign and retire out of shame

the F1-movie fication of F1

@BenGrahamUK i thinkn i hear the words "asset stripping" on the wind

NCP has gone into administration. They’ve been running car parks since 1931, and somehow ended up £305m in debt. Surely the maintenance for a car park is simple: ticket machines, barriers, lights, and occasional cleaning. How can a business model literally based on people paying to park go bankrupt?