mybaffledbrain

My body every January. 😂 My brain to my body: Alright, everyone, listen up. I just got word that we are starting a new exercise and eating plan. Stomach: groans and grumbles Hips and butt: check the assets Chest: sits up straighter Brain: Now I know we’ve been down this road before... but she seems really jazzed about this new program. So we’ve all got to pull together, work together etc. Now this means that each of your departments is going to have to let go of some of the dead weight you’ve been carrying. Stomach: absolutely not, we’ve been working on this muffin top for years. Sure pregnancy was a boom year for us, but the cheese cravings alone have helped my department grow. We can’t possibly be expected to cut down during these “lean times.” Hips: yeah what do you expect? A lot of our current staff have really dug in there. Can’t she just be persuaded to buy some new yoga pants. She’s already married, who is she trying to impress? Chest raises hand: excuse me but we’ll volunteer to decrease our staff first. Brain: no no boobs, you have been asked to maintain your current levels. Boobs: but we really don’t min... Brain: NO! Absolutely not, your department is considered essential personnel. Stomach: wait, the boobs department is volunteering, I think you should take that under consideration. Hips: yeah. Why are our areas being targeted. Brain: look you two, you think you can just throw your weight around? Boobs: (getting up ready to leave)we really don’t mind Brain: sit down boobs Stomach: (grumbling...) When is lunch? And you better not say it’s a shake because so help me... Brain: meeting adjourned

@Not_the_Bee I had to do a double take to see that this is in fact NOT THE BEE.

Karen Bass says Spencer Pratt's AI "violent" ads could "provoke" unstable people, "jeopardize" her safety 🥴 notthebee.com/tb15a

@GadSaad My copy is arriving today!

Day #2 of the release of Suicidal Empathy and it’s already on the Amazon bestseller charts!

@jmasseypoet Oh this is lovely… and sad. ❤️

A new poem to cleanse the timeline.

@Fair_and_Biased @ConceptualJames Am I hallucinating, or did Megyn have a private meeting with Tucker after Charlie was killed. She didn’t become woke right immediately after Charlie was killed, but I swear she had a meeting with Tucker and it was like she had a brain transplant.

Last August (JUST before Charlie died), @ConceptualJames created a set of polls gauging which influencers were “Woke Right.” He just made a new one. The most shocking reversal is Megyn Kelly. Aug 2025- a clear “no” May 2026- a clear “yes.” Results are INVERTED.

Do you think this right-wing influencer is Woke Right? This is a thread of new polls revisiting the same questions and same personalities from last August, so scroll down and RT the top post. 1) Tucker Carlson

@ConceptualJames That Megyn Kelly result kinda breaks my heart.

Throwback! Anyone change their minds on anyone since last August?

@SnydeNotSnarky @NBCNews @CommunityNotes Notes have been written, just waiting on enough votes.

@NBCNews Shame on you. What a pathetic headline. @CommunityNotes, it sure would be nice to see some input here.

Kyle Rittenhouse, who gained fame for opening fire at a 2020 civil rights rally in Wisconsin, was hospitalized after he was bitten by a venomous spider, the noted firearms enthusiast says. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/g…

@ignoreluke_ @NBCNews

@mybaffledbrain @NBCNews No, baffle, as in ongoing, because your brain is shot.

@ignoreluke_ @NBCNews *Baffled

@mybaffledbrain @NBCNews Baffle brain is right. Dumbass

@exjon Didn’t cheat ☺️

Post the last photo of your pet on your phone. No cheating.

Couldn’t agree more!

😂😂😂

@ComfortablySmug Congratulations!!

THANK YOU GOD! MY SON HAS ARRIVED HE IS DOING WONDERFUL RESTING WITH HIS MOTHER. GOD IS GOOD THANK YOU GOD

It's because he comes off as genuine. He rose to fame on a scripted TV show as the villain. People hated him. Then he married the girl, and people laughed at him. He kept building a life, had kids with the wife he loves, and adores his kids. He was just living life, and people didn’t think of him. Then his house burned down. He saw the corruption and nonsense with his own eyes and decided to do something about it. People started listening to him. It hits different because he actually gives a fuck. Now, people respect him.

It's because he comes off as genuine. He rose to fame on a scripted TV show as the villain. People hated him. Then he married the girl, and people laughed at him. He kept building a life, had kids with the wife he loves, and adores his kids. He was just living life, and people didn’t think of him. Then his house burned down. He saw the corruption and nonsense with his own eyes and decided to do something about it. People started listening to him. It hits different because he actually gives a fuck. Now, people respect him.

Never thought I'd say this, but Spencer Pratt does not need media training.

Spencer Pratt is really good at this.

@nosoup4knowles TPUSA is better off without Crazy Carlson.

Reporter: do you still have a relationship with TPUSA? Tucker: Um, well, I have always loved Erika Kirk...I know a lot of people at TP. I was the headliner for a bunch of different TP events. Um, I haven't been asked to do it this year. Don't know if I will be... Um, I would hate to see it hijacked by its donors to become an oracle of neoonservatism. Reporter: when was the last time you spoke to Erika Kirk? Tucker: Couple of weeks ago. By text. So, my concern, and this is not about Erika Kirk or Andrew Kovette or any of those people with whom I've never had a cross word and hope never to have a cross word, um, but my concern more broadly is about the investigation into Charlie's murder, which was shortcircuited by the FBI. And I'd like to know why. And I don't care to be screamed at for asking that question.

Dems when President Trump does literally anything: "He's literally Hitler!" Dems when a Democrat has an actual Nazi tattoo: "People can change." 🫶

@ComfortablySmug @JohnAshbrook @MichaelDuncan @HolmesJosh @RuthlessPodcast Congratulations to you and your family! Soak it all in, nothing like it in the world ❤️

Also on a personal note: @JohnAshbrook @MichaelDuncan and @HolmesJosh and their wonderful wives have been extremely helpful to me and my wife as we expect our first child. @RuthlessPodcast isn't just a podcast, it isn't just a media company, it is genuinely a family 🇺🇸

IMPORTANT NOTE: For folks who aren't aware, I'll be missing from @RuthlessPodcast for the next couple weeks I'm at home in North Carolina with my wife and our son is expected to arrive any day! @JohnAshbrook @MichaelDuncan & @HolmesJosh will continue crushing it in my absence