nkb

Even though we’ve needed to endure a sociopolitical hellscape for the past two decades, it’s so gratifying to live in the moment that produced this headline. h/t @GW_Gallery

Make the Microsoft CEO search for an email on Outlook live on camera

@TweetWorcester @Worcester311 Could you post an update on whether you expect the declared parking ban to extend into Wednesday? I don’t want to get stuck having to pay for my municipal parking because I didn’t realize the ban had ended.

Declared Winter Parking Ban Update: This weekend Special Event rates will apply to municipal garages for portions of the day, affecting those who are parking there during the Declared Winter Parking Ban. Learn more: worcesterma.gov/announcements/…

@imbpratap This is perfection.

PICTURE OF THE DAY: PHARMA EXECUTIVE GORDON FINDLAY COLLAPSES NEAR TRUMP AT WHITE HOUSE EVENT

@sheydaj 💯💯💯 I also believe that Prince must live on in any merciful timeline.

@nancykburns It happened the instant Bowie died.

My newest theory is that an intelligent life form fractured the space-time continuum to create a nightmarish parallel reality as entertainment. We ended up in the bizarro timeline and unwittingly participate in a diabolical “must-see-tv” version of the Truman show.

@KamalaHQ Worst. Timeline. Ever.

“Whether the women like it or not”

This kind of cultural acumen is what prevents me from jumping out of a window.

@highbrow_nobrow @Acyn I am going to become the Joker. We are living in a Verhoeven film.

Fox News' Jesse Watters: “When a man votes for a woman, he actually transitions into a woman." @Acyn

After Tucker Carlson likened Trump to "daddy" tonight, and said a reelected Trump would need to give the media and Democrats a "spanking," the rally crowd "went wild," @alaynatreene reports. Later, when Trump came on stage, the crowd screamed "Daddy's home" and "Daddy Don"

@TheFigen_ This is 💯 the reincarnation of my cat Stewie. h/t @GW_Gallery

Imagine you're crying and an animal starts doing parkour on your head.

@KamalaHQ This is the stupidest timeline.

Trump: Jill, get your fat husband off the couch. Get that, get that fat pig off the couch. Get that guy the hell off our... Get him up Jill, slap him around, get him up, get them up, Jill. We want them off the couch (???)

A key point missing in a lot of post debate analysis is that Trump’s claim about immigrants eating pets almost perfectly syncs up to the piano in the Peanuts theme song.

Average conspiracy theorist

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to take PTO

@acnewsitics The 20th century had fauvism, cubism, de stjil, and surrealism; the first quarter of the 21st century produced this.

MAGA: The Olympics are insulting christians! Also MAGA:

This is so deep and brilliant.

@patrickcbrown The 70s were the best and the worst.

Our timeline...without Hall and Oates.

this is going to ruin the tour

I'm a KHiver now because it's somehow both the soberly correct stance and the funny irony-poisoned stance.