icks🪓

good mornining ! if any of you goobers wanna do literally any kind of photoshoot, im always looking for practice! 📸 dont have money? that's fine, i think we need to go back to the barter system immediately

Yesterday my roommate got home mad drunk walked up to me said “I know how much you love the dishwasher” and handed me this lol

It is remarkable how much Darby Allin looks like Homer's photoreal nightmare fantasy of Bart

"unskilled labor," they say. well i'd like to see them make a latte snail.

When I was a tiny baby a witch put a curse on me to eat chips.

When you have a friend

sometimes my boyfriend will ask “can I hang out with the girls” but it just means he wants to see my boobs

oh, you’re married & you have kids & a house & a 401k? well i recently invented a game called m&m’s roulette where i put peanut-butter, caramel, & pretzel m&m’s in a sandwich bag & shake them up & then before i go to bed i get to pick one m&m & the flavor is a surprise. so.

swingers party except i'm in the cuck chair with someone's wife in my lap and we're doing a statler and waldorf bit the entire time

years ago i introduced my dad to that speed reading software that flashes one word at a time at you really fast and he read the entirety of crime and punishment on it

just accidentally microwaved a fruit fly for 50 seconds and he flew right out of there afterwards like nothing had happened

Trans man porn needs more bush

That KISS sign is killing me. 😭😭😭

thinking about this game a lot lately. for soooome reason.

📖

Hit the cart too hard now I think im 2017 Kazuchika Okada

Enough is enough. I’m making an archive of the worst New York party theme flyers

this is what this summer is gonna feel like

got my hand down my pants straight up resting it. im doing nothing down there im just palming my shit im relaxed as fuck

My coworker said I dress like I caught a lizard and I'm waiting for a chance to show it to everyone

when the fajitas come out sizzlin