Dodo Neanderthal 📐

In 1969 1 billion people knew some American geezers were landing on the moon. Today 50 billion people know that the UK taxpayer is paying for that skinny white chick is getting security reserved for royals while she tours UK.

@Tbone7219 Madame Blavatsky?

Who in the fuck orders a medium pizza ?

Technology has made life so easier: we no longer have to decide whether to eat the mamma woolly mammoth or the her baby.

I only bought crypto because I thought it was like those impossible crosswords. I’ve not been disappointed!

Deciding when to buy or sell crypto is same like edging. Cum now or cum later.

The best vacation you’ll ever take is a vacation from yourself. Let go and enjoy the time away from your jailer.

Send a photo of your TV with your favourite show on.

People express their love in different ways, focus on that instead of flowers, blow jobs and trinkets.

@iamcobbina Geez mate, I don’t even follow but can see you might just be into it for the wrong reasons. You should work on your hate it will make you ill. ❤️

Everyday I look forward to seeing Arsenal fans cry. I use their salty tears for my seasoning. I use their failures for my success. I use their agony for my joy. I am alive today because of this. Thank you Arsenal for keeping me alive for another day.

I’ve never been shocked as much from a movie as Saltburn has shocked me.

@MonkeysMarch Rip!

I'm a guy who feels he needs to do a lot, trapped in the body of a guy who naps a lot.

@hollerszee @MonkeysMarch A Snickers

@Wonderful_Ed @MonkeysMarch She’s still here.

@whomeverett Probably would have never been introduced to California Sunshine and would’ve become a christian band.

Have to say was disappointed that black garlic was more sweet than garlicky. Vampirs must be cackling.

@RCReed40 Hell No!

Has a limp on both legs - walks like hot beach sand.

When chopping veg it is advised to throw some on the floor, rolled, bounced or otherwise, in the beginning. Then you can clean it up and continue without doing the miss-the-veg-on-the-floor dance.

Dear God, If I believe in you, when I dissolve into the plasma, will you show me the evolution of this beautiful place we have called Earth?