something_new

Is it really my fault? Or do people just not listen to me? Or do I really the root cause? I’m starting to think no one/nothing/I can’t save myself no matter what.

I want to be that girl for him, The one where he never thinks of an ex because I’m his all. The one where he’s absolutely obsessed with, keeps the intimacy ie hand holding always. The one that he sees giving him her all. What if he doesn’t recognize it

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I’m tired, but not the way people think I am

It always slithers its way in without a trace. Then one day I realize my heart is burnt out. I’ve lost touch, I’m angry but because my feelings are isolated my eyes fill up… the only way to rid the anger is to let it flow

I just keep praying things get better, and I keep pushing to do better.

I’m struggling with the war again. I’ve decided it’s time to go all in… to make art. Oil painting has always been a secret love of mine. I hope it helps… at least i’ll always have inspiration with there’s wars in my head.

I’ve been in denial, but today a special someone told me what I was scared to face… depression I knew it, but I told myself it was anxiety, I told my self I was being sensitive, I told myself it was hormones. How come my family and friends never notice or do something?

i found my worth in the depth of your heart

I thought I found my life long friend… Once again “my friends” only love and care for me conditionally or on their time Time to turn someone back to a stranger again… guess it’s adios

Growing pains… it’s hard to go though, and with anxiety… It seems unmatched, I just hope I keep pushing and no one notices. I just have to keep praying for peace of mind as my thoughts ruin me every night. I pray I get the happy life I’ve always wanted.

Today I received a text, I didn’t realize it… but they noticed how hard I work. I wish more people would acknowledge it and treat me accordingly. So thank you friend. You’re right I should be proud of myself, thank you for helping me realize I should be.

I’m working on fixing it… But why does my mind constantly feel the need to tear me down. place doubt in my thoughts.. place heartbreak… It says it’s to prepare me for the worst but I’m starting to think that’s not the case.

No one warned me your 20s is a crucial time of your life.. I was warned about the adulting part. But not the mental destruction… having to show your parents they can’t control you, having to show the world you’re not an 18 adult, growing out of friendships… learning solitude

Life is only a circle if you make it a circle

He’s a huge goofball He’s is creative and so am I, I just haven’t shown him yet I will show him soon, but for now… He puts a huge smile on my face. I feel the joy fill me up from head to toe. … He’s my dopamine shot and boy oh boy I need that shot!

I wan me back, she used to make people feel happy and safe. What is she doing wrong. She knows she isn’t the same that she used to be. But she doesn’t know when that changed. Bring her back… soon… She is loosing hope.