Mike Houston’s Burner 💍

For those at home and abroad who clearly can’t differentiate between satire and the real world, believe it or not I’m not actually Mike Houston. I’m Scottie Montgomery.

@usfbulls69 Don’t ever go off strip…

@notMikeHouston Fuuuck that’s brutal. I’ve only been to Vegas once but it’s a rough city in some areas

Phone died so I’ll never know exactly but I think I roughly pieced together my route after the concert ended Woke up in the parking garage at 4:30am sopping wet, drenched in sweat. Old lady says she was an hour from filing a missing person report 🫩 #George

@Bradleybigchubb CAN U DO THE JOB OR NOT

@notMikeHouston QUIT WHISPERIN N SPEEK UP LIBBY

IT IS TOO DAMN HOT AN I GOT WAY TOO MUCH DAM MONEY 2 BE CUTTIN MY OWN GRASS . @Bradleybigchubb CAN U PLEESE SEND ME YOUR RATES AN SUM FOTOS OF OTHER JOBS U DONE.?? THANKS BUD 🚛

@zoex0 GOBBLESS B SAFE SWEATY

@notMikeHouston The CHI, HOSS. MIAMI AFTER 💨

Few more days of this bullshit and I’m out of here ✈️

@usfcardsfan HAPPIE 2 HELP

@notMikeHouston ok thanks for letting me know

fit check

@PirateGroyper @Texanroadrunner @cgodwin23 NO IDEA HOSS

@notMikeHouston @Texanroadrunner @cgodwin23 WHAT IS ALL THS YAPPING GOING ON HOSS

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: 12 years ago TODAY @cgodwin23 was officially introduced as the ECU Head Coach. Since then: 469 (nice) Wins 5x Mikey Mouse American Coach of the Year 2,510,867 Fake Bunts Shown 2 Super Teams Wasted 🗑️ 4,380 Devotionals Posted 🙏 15 Jungle Jumps 2,185 🤟 Emojis Used 35 Post Game Media Crash Outs 0 CWS Appearances 🏆

@Texanroadrunner @PirateGroyper @cgodwin23 AINT SEEN EM

@notMikeHouston @PirateGroyper @cgodwin23 YOS YOU DO

ANY COMMENT LIB.?? @ECUJungle

@Texanroadrunner @PirateGroyper @cgodwin23 I DOMT KNOW WHO THAT IS HOSS

@PirateGroyper @cgodwin23 AWWWWW SO CUTE CLOOF @notMikeHouston

@mike_cringe @mkalinich13 @ECUJungle @parkerbyrd11 @Jbyrd41718 DONT 4GEY 2 TAG EM ALL MIKE

@mkalinich13 @ECUJungle @parkerbyrd11 @Jbyrd41718 Love this energy. I made such a good reply here! Can't wait for my next post where every accomplishment somehow circles back to being about me the parent instead of the kid. How many accounts can I tag next time, me? 🤟🤟🤟🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Every athlete knows…. One day they are going to have to hang up their cleats. Every athlete has gone thru ups and downs in their career to get to that last game… ….that last at-bat. Tonight, @parkerbyrd11 had his final AB of his final game. Instead of “taking” ball 4 of a 3-1 count… He swung. Parker’s final AB was a single to left field… just 24 hours before he his a 💣 to left field. This isn’t the end of Parker’s journey… This isn’t even the end of the beginning… He has used his platform in ways that I could never have imagined… and will continue to surpass our own expectations. Parker…. Thank you for showing us all what it means to face adversity head on, with faith in God, a positive attitude, and a big smile on your face. You have more people pulling for you than you could ever know… Keep swinging baby… we love you brother. Next stop… the Olympics. 🤟🏴‍☠️

@john_st_helen GOBBLESS OLE BOY

@notMikeHouston Tex Mex

IS DEER MEET BURRETOS CONSIDERD AWTHENTIC MEXICAN.?? A WHITE BOY TRYIN 2 HAVE A NITE 🌮 NOT PICTURED : OLD EL PASO MEXICUN CHEESY RICE

@LilaCave @JeremyTTUsports ONLEE LIBRULS CALL IT VENISEN LIBRUL . ITS DEER MEET .

@JeremyTTUsports @notMikeHouston My son makes killer venison tamales.

@JeremyTTUsports THE FUK IS A CHILAMGO.??

@notMikeHouston Looks great but I think it depends. Chilangos don’t usually fw wild game.

Hating ECU as a Marshall fan is certainly a choice but okay.

@Kalshi Okay but @jayCthebull can’t read…

JUST IN: Texas becomes first state to require students to read the Bible

@jayCthebull @0and0Sports

@0and0Sports Who and how is anyone overrating us….? (UNT)

📈 Overrated vs Underrated Teams in 2026 📉 (Group of 6 Only) What would you change about this list? ⬇️ #CFB