lil acorn

Pinning this tweet so you “twitter perverts” have the bar set reallll low

My domineering parents set completely unattainable standards by telling me I should “do what makes me happy”. I envy my pampered diaspora friends, hothouse flowers afforded the simple metrics “become a lawyer”, “stop being gay”

clocking in at the old ‘Olfactory’ factory

Sometime I be slitting goats throat just for me, just killing in vain brother, one love ❤️🙏🏻

*shouting across Ellen’s moat as guard begin to swarm my location* I’ve got a new kid, he’s called the jizzler and he’s all sticky and such!!

I’m kinda like the 5th beatle, but for Maroon 5, i suggested maroon 6 but then Adam sprayed me with his acid and I had to take a step down from the electric banjo

Hey gronk, whata da hell, hey gonk what is this?? Hey groank, please explain, hey gron what is this?? Gronky, what the hell am I seeing. Grok, context, now. Hey groank give me the run down of what I’m seeing, hey grank, what the helllll is all this rubbish, @ grak context ??? Hey

Gotta get back into my tweeting mode, been smashing my head and penis against similar shaped and dense rocks to get in the “mood”

*Trying to impress a girl by reciting the “Choose life monologue” from train spotting but I forgot how it starts * Pick lives

My first decree as mayor would be to hire giraffes as fire poles for the fire department to slide down :) second would be a harsh immigration policy.

A sure sign that a chick is basic is when she’s obsessed with her dead grandparents like “8yrs today miss you always ❤️ “ on Facebook Move on!!!!!

killing two girls with one cup

I parting the Red Sea, but I didn’t make a big song and dance about it

Left my ivory tower, and think I left the oven on (heated via ivory), yeah everyone is doing it tough, poor people and normal people ✊🏻

I didn’t get into a vizier game to ‘scheme’, I do it for the love of the craft (whispering ulterior motives in masters ear)

Do you think members of the Kennedy family blame minor things on the Kennedy Curse? Like a delicious looking turkey sandwich is dry and they're just like "When will this nightmare be ovah"

Couple of boys on the wrong side of the tracks made me do the cinnamon challenge and sack wacked me at the precise moment I took the spoon to my lips, nothing but respect for their timing and persuasive language

Ironically the name ‘sunk cost fallacy’ is also a sunk cost fallacy, should have been called ‘suck cock phallically’

The 7 deadly sins, the Jackson five, three musketeers and a partridge in a pear tree, yep…it’s a boys weekend

I’m fiscally conservative but also socially conservative, they’re calling it “conservative”

Putting a cork up my bum and farting it out ! *getting a call from my grandma* “Yeah, yeah you saw the tweet, pretty epic-a-chino huh?”