Mlle. Dolorology

A geisha on the streets, and an oiran in the sheets.

The Internet: Answering questions to things you shouldn't have asked in the first place, for as long as it's not a problem, it's a choice 👍🏻

@EricIdle Out of curiosity, what was it like working with Rick Moranis in Splitting Heirs? I’ve always admired him. Glad we get to see him act at least one more time in Spaceballs 2: The New One next year!

@EricIdle Whenever I would go to see Jon Brion at Largo at the Coronet and he would take requests, I’d always yell out “Cheese and Onions!” One time he did it and it was perfect!

He’s in it!

@marilynhacks Oh wow! I actually clipped that original picture and stuck it to one of my notebooks back in the day… still have it!

needed this today 😭🍸

@MrJamesMay That’s a furry face that could melt the coldest heart. I’m so sorry, James. ❤️

My mate Bouncer died yesterday. He’d lived with us for 13 years as a furry, purring, permanently migrating ornament. I didn’t know I could feel such grief for a witless bag of bones who destroyed my favourite sofa and crapped in the shower tray. Below is a picture taken on the day he selected me at the animal shelter.

@reedgalen lol

Why does she have Nathan Lane on her back?

Baby Boomers got their pre-mid life crisis plastered across the front page of Time. What do Millennials get? BuzzFeed articles about things other than avocado to put on toast. Have you tried burrata mozzarella to go with your side of aging and imminent fear of Earth’s death wail?

If you're going to cross paths with a murderous psychopath, at least hope they're Canadian. You might get an apology for your death, eh?

I feel like some self promotion of old school Twitter. Here’s some of my bangerz (for the academy’s consideration)

Somewhere irl, tbh, bae & imho gather at a bar. They each take a shot & talk about the last time they saw their significant missing letters.

@RICKMORAN1S lol ditto! It wraps up in such a crazy manner but I’m like “oh, who cares!” *goes back and watches that part over and over*

@nymphetress makes sitting thru the rest of the movie worth it☠️

the rick moranis of romance and purple blue split lighting

@MrJamesMay @BudeJim James. You’re too delightful. I give you a complete pass to call her a “stewardess.”

@BudeJim Congratulations.

I’ve just boarded a flight from London to the US. I checked my boarding pass and headed to my seat, fully expecting it to be occupied by an entitled woman claiming to need it so she could be near her kids, giving me the essential elements of an indignant social media post. But no. The seat was empty. No entitled woman claiming to need it so she could be near her kids, giving me the essential elements of an indignant social media post. Empty. Unoccupied. I sat down. The delightful stewardess brought me a drink. Sometimes in life oh do fuck off.

@ContraPoints Oh, Natalie. I’m here and will always be here. But…🫠

So Briahna Joy Grey, Jill Stein voter, invites me on her podcast “Bad Faith.” My friends tell me, “Don’t do it, Bad Faith is known for being bad faith.” I say I’ll do it anyway because, 1 losing debates to bad faith people is an integral part of my artistic process and 2,

if I was in charge of the Met Gala theme I think I’d choose something like Rick Moranis Movies

@cheshire_adams Ok…right….they were whole… but now…. now they’re sliced, ya dig? Imagine Quentin Tarantino explaining it.

Well, which is it — sliced, or whole?

Hi, you’ve reached late stage capitalism. Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line.

@ContraPoints Any advice?

well, yes

@MrJamesMay Was absolutely going to guess that but forgot to tweet.

Time’s up, and nobody has won the packet of screws. The correct answer was ‘Flemish single-manual harpsichord after Ruckers’. Useless, the lot of you.

@cannockchase8 I love this!

And I long to be with u if only I could :(