Obsolete Genius

Merry Christmas.

@JonyIveParody @LindaLominger Fucking. Perfection.

Apple customers when you tell them a 50GB iCloud plan is only $0.99 a month:

PSA: How to keep a friend that works for  as a friend: 1. Don't message them only when you want a discount. 2. Don't ask them stupid shit you can Google easily. 3. Don't ASK them for a discount. If we want to let you use it we'll OFFER. Please feel free to add your own.

When people ask what #Apple employees did during #Quarantine...

To the woman in Boston who needed a password reset but refused to "crawss the rivah," sometimes needs must we push ourselves to get the things we want. #aha #jesuschrist #nope #apple

When you know that one coworker is only asking how you’ve been as a way of segueing into talking about themselves. #todayatapple #idontgiveashit #fuckoff

Exceptions are for the exceptional. I have yet to meet anyone like that at the Genius Bar. #todayatapple

The REAL #Apple #credo card. #appleanon #capitalism #GTFOH

Merry Christmas.

Well...It has been a minute, hasn't it? #imback #hello

@EvilSalesAss @AlongsideWild @Arlnee Ramen noodles with personality, is how I see them.

@AlongsideWild @Arlnee Tapeworms?

@krassenstein Garbage bags full of hair. Typewriters are awesome, and some great content has yet to make the jump to digital.

I was going to compare Fox News viewers to sheep, but then I remembered that sheep actually have a use. We can eat them and wear them. I think VHS tapes or typewriters would be better comparisons.

@FRS_Babe @iamlordbadwolf Cold Climate Crocs.

@iamlordbadwolf I feel like UGG's are the new Ed Hardy. Douchebag attire.

How many times have you heard the classic line "I'm never shopping here again!!", And your like ok great! 😁😁 But a week later, there's #Dearcustomer back in again with a new issue. Hey i thought we had a deal man! #retaillife #retailproblems #customers

@ReverendSteve There’s not even a real Spider-Man in this one. WTF?

We are stuck in the worst of all possible universes

@SwiftOnSecurity Herpes. Oh. Wait. You said “like.” New iPhone, I guess.

What’s something cool that you got in the last year that you like?

@HamillHimself @TheWookieeRoars Scared the shit out of me for a second. I saw the collection of pics before I read the caption and thought for sure another Star (Warrior) had fallen. Life Day wouldn’t be the same without him.

SHOUT OUT to gentle giant Peter Mayhew @TheWookieeRoars for no particular reason other than defining the very soul of of what it means to be a Wookiee & for a lifetime of friendship with one of the sweetest guys I've ever known.❤️-mh

#laurel for days.