(Kat)

I think my therapist hates me. Wish I had someone to talk to about this.

Why is my cat sitting on my lap purring to herself? Why is she so happy just to be with me? How did I get so lucky?

My current goal is to stand up without groaning too loudly

What if I gave up, as a treat

a quick yoga flow while i watch the downfall of society

can’t wait to be someone’s cool weird sexy evil wife

Shooting my shot by liking your tweets and never talking to you

Does anyone else's mother use all your private information to make small talk?

@navymig This is really smart, but also I hope it's true because that would be a weird thing to lie about.

@ollkorrect0 In my 20s, I would tell women I was dating that my earlobes were a major erogenous zone for me. That way, if they played with my ears, I knew they wanted me to go further.

First date idea: I lick your earlobe

this is getting difficult to romanticize

I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT (at the marriage registry because I love u)

I guess what I've learned is you have to be more afraid of wasting your life than of embarrassing yourself

Witnessed a date last night that made me glad I didn't meet him first.

I just spent 45 minutes with some Gen Z-ers. It's good to study other cultures.

cat sending resumes while an alien invasion is happening outside

Swallow my pride? I dunno, that's like six lions

But your honour you know how I get

I think if March 2019 me and March 2026 me sat in a room, they wouldn't believe each other.