oofowl

@nyc_paulie @ayeeechief @NickHerburgh @penguins Is this photo better

@ItsRay_9 Discovery was such a good map

These new gens don’t know about the spawn snipe spots 🥹

See you in 9 Sundays.

@astarioncel Why do they all have the same phenotype

Goodness gracious man

@fwmarqix Account based in Africa

My son in-law asked me to teach him how to grill and I might have ruined him. My daughter got married three years ago. Her husband, Kyle, is a good guy, works in IT, polite, laughs at my jokes even when they're not funny. But the man cannot grill. Last summer they hosted a Fourth of July BBQ. Kyle was in charge of the burgers, i watched him flip them eleven times in six minutes. They came out gray, dry, tragic. I didn't say anything, my wife kicked me under the table twice as a reminder. Two weeks ago Kyle calls me. Kyle: Hey, Can I ask you something? Me: Sure. Kyle: Would you teach me how to grill? Like, actually grill? I was honored, genuinely. Me: Absolutely, come over Saturday. He showed up at noon with a notebook, A notebook. Me: You're not taking notes. Kyle: I want to remember. Me: It's grilling, not calculus. I started with the basics, Charcoal vs gas, heat zones, when to flip, the importance of letting meat rest. He's writing everything down. Then I got to seasoning. Me: Most people overthink it, salt, pepper, garlic powder. That's it. You don't need seventeen spices. Kyle: What about marinades? Me: Waste of time unless you're doing chicken. Kyle: Really? Me: You're adding moisture to something you're about to dry out with fire. Doesn't make sense. He wrote that down. Then I said, "And if anyone ever tells you to flip a steak more than once, you walk away from that person." Kyle: Why? Me: Because they don't respect the steak. He stared at me. Kyle: Are you serious? Me: Completely. I could see his brain trying to figure out if I was messing with him. I wasn't. We grilled for three hours, burgers, steaks, brats. He did great, listened, didn't rush, the kid has potential. At the end I sent him home with leftovers and a meat thermometer. Me: Use this, don't guess. Last weekend my daughter calls. My daugther: What did you do to Kyle? Me: What do you mean? Her: He's obsessed, he bought a new grill, he's watching YouTube videos, he tried to explain 'heat zones' to his mom, she had no idea what he was talking about." Me: That's good. Her: He grilled chicken at 9pm last night because he wanted to 'practice his sear.' Me: Sounds like he's taking it seriously. Her: Dad, He told my coworker her husband was 'disrespecting the steak.' I started laughing. Her: That's not funny, she thought he was crazy. Me: He's not wrong. Her: You created a monster. Me: I created a man who knows how to grill. She hung up on me. Yesterday Kyle sent me a picture of a ribeye with perfect grill marks. The text said: "Flipped once." I've never been prouder.

@DaniB_x @JustLycos @ayeejuju Pointing the wrong way is not even remotely close to not knowing the difference between your left and right

@JustLycos @ayeejuju i have dyslexia only reason i know my left from my right hand is because i am left handed. when im giving directions i easily confuse the two, i’ll point right but mean for them to go left.

@hashjenni Non Americans love commenting on the GOAT of countries.

250 years of GENOCIDE 250 years of ECOCIDE 250 years of COLONIZATION

How USA will play against Belgium now that they have Donald Trump's presidential red card immunity

@LDNRom In London talking ab free Palestine, they're already in London you dunce

Damn, I should have got a blue tick before hitting send on this, maybe then I could afford some of that sweet AC I've been hearing so much about. Anyway, trump is a sex offender, elon musk has no real friends, free Palestine.

So America turns 250. That's cute. My local pub is 364 years old.

Everyone’s favorite duo

@USMNT Balotelli the goat

BALO'S BEEN KNOCKING AND BALO'S GONNA DELIVER

@507LindaALeudo @joshhart Nigga said teach my kids Islam

@joshhart Illegal. Muslim and other religious groups aren’t required to read it or be taught it in publicly funded schools. If thats the case teach my children Islam and Buddhism, let the children read all optional religious materials. 🙄

🔥🔥🔥 Whoever has ears let them hear

One of the greatest comebacks of all time happened 15 years ago 🤯 Joe Rogan: It's over Mike Goldberg: Nope Joe Rogan: He is out now Mike Goldberg: Nope Joe Rogan: OHHHHHHHHHHHHH

@Topuriailia 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅

You should’ve kept your father out of this. He was the one calling me a short guy and saying you’d smash me, all while holding a beer in his hand. Then you started talking about my divorce and telling the world you wouldn’t want to be my roommate. Idiot. First, we’re fighting, not dating. Second, I’m not looking for a roommate. When I put you to sleep and you’re lying there next to the rose, I’ll look at your father and ask him one simple question: Who’s the short one now? I’m gonna break you Justin.

It must suck to have to pretend to be mad at this

#aiemannzahabi fighting out of #canada yeah ok

The Flyover the octagon This event is about to be legendary #UFCWhiteHouse

@GiantsPlzWin Some bum like Preston Parker

When the Giants are good again like the Knicks what niche players are we talking about to detect all the bandwagons and larps

@ObnoxionRey @14v146614z5er41 @cavannastan @MarkDC42 That's exactly the point retard

@14v146614z5er41 @cavannastan @MarkDC42 That's not the point at all, but thanks for playing.

Again for those in the back, Elon once offered to cut a check for $6 BILLION to the WFB to "eliminate World hunger" as they said the money could. His one condition was that the accounting was public. They did not accept.

@WhiteHouse @POTUS Iran next

“At my direction, the United States Southern Command delivered a swift and lethal kinetic strike to successfully execute Niño Guerrero, the infamous leader of Tren De Aragua, one of the most bloodthirsty Terrorist Organizations on Planet Earth.” - President DONALD J. TRUMP 🇺🇸

@PamRotella @WhiteHouse Does your pussy hurt

@WhiteHouse That's what we call an extrajudicial killing. Even El Chapo had his day in court. Please explain why an arrest wasn't possible in this case. If it was, and you decided to kill instead because you don't understand the law, are senile, or whatever, then that's an illegal order.