Mike Jones

When I shart my pants tomorrow everyone remind me it’s bc I ate 6 @tacobell tacos in under 15 minutes thank you

@dunkindonuts tired of getting cups of milk when ordering one singular cream in a coffee w espresso… no one wants coffee that looks like sand 🤢🤢

Also @elonmusk I’ve had 80% the same feed for the past 4 days - please spice up my algorithm or I’ll call you a cissy

@dunkindonuts why is it so hard for y’all to follow a drink order !!! 1 singular cream does not mean my drink should look like sand !!!!!!

Rihanna pregnant or am I disrespectful??

Pls do me a favor and don’t call or text me I don’t want talk.

Arlington Expy - Google Maps Zooazz. P. A. A zzzzs. Z a @30.3273523,-81.5989722,17z/data=!4m12!1m6!3m5!1s0x88e5b441cb835ee9:0x24bdd3bea4f63c6!2sArlington+Expy,+Jacksonville,+FL!8m2!3d30.3273523!4d-81.5989722!3m4!1s0x88e5b441cb835ee9:0x24bdd3bea4f63c6!8m2!3d30.3273523!4d-81.5989722?hl=en-us" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">google.com/maps/place/Arl…

@Moes_HQ salads slap

imagine you’re having and operation and your doctor is like “wait just let me post this bereal before i amputate your leg”

Need a hand gesture stronger than the middle finger

If anybody wants to run away from their issues… I have a passport and $5 I’m ready to join you lmao

not feeling very party in the USA right now

addicted to @perfectbar and now I need financial help

We need the old sun back this new one taking his job too serious

Buzz Lightyear? More like buzzed off a light beer amiright

square root of 69 is 8 somethin

why does Dunkin have to be so inconsistent 💔💔

I do not understand but I disagree

i stg if this is one of his lil pranks imma be pissed