babeweiser

I’m basically only one pair of Birkenstocks away from being my mother

Just started a folder at work for “2024 problems” and I can’t wait for it to bite me in the ass in a few weeks

Husband was 1000% not listening to me when I asked him a question. He looked at me and said “yes I’d still love you if you were a worm” but the question was can we go to the beach while we’re in CA for Xmas? 😂 #shitmyhusbandsays

Alexa has started calling husband by his first name and it is slightly off putting. What in the HER is going on here?!

Sunday scaries hitting early this week 🫣😬

Idk how girls wear makeup all day; I’ve had a full face on since 10am for family pics and activities and I have been dying to wash my face for hours 😖

Gosh I love Turkey; it’s so easy to cook and meat thermometers are so accurate and easy to read! 😒 will we eat before 8pm?

Omg I was sleeping on @CharlieDonlea; I just started Twenty Years Later and I think I have to stay up all night to finish it?

@helenabadger Only because I know it’s you doing the bit hahahaha

Happy birthday to me! Husband bought us a @tesla and after it was delivered tonight asked me if I’d “like to sit out on the front porch with a glass of wine and look at the new car.” I love him 😂 #shitmyhusbandsays

Alright @rachaelray, I’ll use a damn garbage bowl.

Husband called me his little Mexican Chuck Norris and I think he is finally onboard with the excessive amount of denim I have

Plz. How is this small dog real?

got a puppy 2 1/2 weeks ago and every other day I ask myself wtf have I done; I now have two dogs and I feel like I’m running a mf circus. BUT LOOK AT THEM 🥹

@helenabadger Walking a puppy is very similar; can’t wait to share my horror story tomorrow 🥰

@torchystacos plz keep the Tokyo drifter 4ever 🥺

Omg did Superbad encourage Gen Z to eat tide pods?!

How the FUCK did Jesus pay for an ad spot during the SUPER BOWL.

@ContainerStore - plz put QR codes linking to the appropriate assembly page ON THE PIECES THAT DON’T COME WITH ASSEMBLY INSTRUCTIONS. this could be easier for everyone. Plz consider my suggestion.

I am getting too old for multiple activities per weekend. I need a day off to relax in sweatpants and eat take out.

Vodka red bulls taste like a fake ID