φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա

1.5K posts

φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա banner
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա

φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա

@paulbeardow

I like guitars and records.

Katılım Ağustos 2008
556 Takip Edilen340 Takipçiler
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@DavidPGCSE Never mind, with hand like shovels you could be the new Mark Spitz. Unless you are also cursed with a huge penis that drags along the bottom of the swimming pool.
English
0
0
2
31
David P GCSE (multiple)
People have been taking the piss out of my enormous hands so I've come out for a pint to drown my sorrows
David P GCSE (multiple) tweet media
English
7
2
89
1.2K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@thesundaysport @jk_rowling I always wondered, is Jolyon one of those strange names like Menzies, Cholmondeley or Beauchamp? You know, spelt one way but pronounced completely differently, so not “Joh-lee-on”, but “Discharge” or “Phlegm”?
English
1
0
4
71
J.K. Rowling
J.K. Rowling@jk_rowling·
NARRATOR: JK Rowling had never met Jolyon Maugham. They were never friends. Her close friends remained her close friends. Jolyon Maugham remained a fixated loon.
J.K. Rowling tweet media
English
936
3.1K
27.8K
939.2K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@thesundaysport Tell me, is this how the mystical hedge porn gets seeded? The Sunday Sport singing “I like to go a-wandering” whilst stuffing copies of Razzle into hedgerows for youngsters to discover on their journey into manhood.
English
0
0
1
35
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
Just seen on the map that we'll be walking through a parish called Coole Pilate, which goes straight on my list of favourite place names
English
11
0
38
2.6K
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
Off for some amblings in the far reaches of Cheshire later, beyond Crewe. It's technically part of Down South.
English
21
0
117
6.5K
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
@BradfemlyWalsh What you want is Prime Swedish Giant Cock #7. (You don't really need to have seen the previous 6)
English
13
0
63
2.2K
Shambo of Luxembourg
Shambo of Luxembourg@BradfemlyWalsh·
Tried watching a film called Pillion last night. The blurb said it was an erotic gay drama featuring Alexander Skarsgård. What I thought I was getting was prime Swedish giant cock. What I actually got was Dudley Dursley being unceremoniously bummed on a cheap carpet.
GIF
English
44
10
228
11.8K
Burnside
Burnside@BurnsideWasTosh·
This is going to really hurt Matthew when he realises Starmer is, in fact, a liar rather than a luncheon meat messiah. Let's all be understanding as he goes on this difficult journey.
Burnside tweet media
English
43
142
1.1K
16.4K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@thesundaysport @JuliaHB1 It's quite evil; deny the humanity of people who won't vote for you, and that then makes it fair game to target them with disenfranchisement and/or violence.
English
0
0
2
51
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
@JuliaHB1 If this is real, it's bloody terrifying. And his glassy-eyed disciples will lap it up.
English
7
4
130
1.6K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@_HelenDale Oh, they are 31 years old now! One's a doctor and the other has just finished a Phd in quantum computing UX :-) I have had my eyes on another Sheltie for some time, but want to make sure we have the time for it.
English
0
0
1
9
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@thesundaysport I am trying to decide if the Greens are a sophisticated joke or genuine lunatics. I guess the plan to tackle misogyny is to let men decide what’s best for the little ladies?
English
1
1
14
287
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
Some twats are making a mint with the oil price going up and down like a whore's drawers
Sunday Sport tweet media
English
14
7
125
3.5K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@DavidPGCSE Yeah, you are a bit old to be playing knock up ginger. She probably wouldn’t be best pleased either if she was suffering from morning sickness when you rang her doorbell and legged it either.
English
0
0
2
68
David P GCSE (multiple)
I fear the window for me to knock up Natalie Portman is now closed
David P GCSE (multiple) tweet media
English
7
0
52
1.4K
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@BurnsideWasTosh @TouchlineX I follow David Bowie’s assessment of Coldplay. When he was asked to collaborate on a song with them he simply said "It's not a very good song, is it?" Can’t improve on that solid judgement.
English
0
0
1
103
Burnside
Burnside@BurnsideWasTosh·
@TouchlineX Be just our luck to get to the final this year. And have to endure this shite.
English
19
14
544
8.1K
The Touchline | 𝐓
The Touchline | 𝐓@TouchlineX·
🚨 𝗡𝗘𝗪: For the first time in history, The World Cup Final will have a halftime show. It will be organized by Chris Martin & Coldplay and could take up to 25 minutes.
The Touchline | 𝐓 tweet media
English
5.6K
2.3K
30.7K
12.8M
Film Facts
Film Facts@ElfwickDraws·
The Breakfast Club (1985) was the first completely unscripted feature-length film to make a profit at the box office. John Hughes filmed the detained delinquents, without their knowledge, using a camera and microphone concealed in a He-Man lunchbox.
Film Facts tweet media
English
4
2
11
397
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա
φąմӀ βҽąɾժօա@paulbeardow·
@thesundaysport Merely the thought of listening to his monotone drone for 10 minutes was enough to open the straights. He has no excuse now but to head home and beat himself up again for trusting someone who definitely didn’t mention any security failings. He is so, so cross with himself.
English
0
0
1
222
Sunday Sport
Sunday Sport@thesundaysport·
See, we were all taking the piss and Keir's single-handedly reopened the Strait of Hormuz. We don't deserve him.
English
30
28
507
7.5K