Phil Smith

@adamosva @DamianLow3 I’d find it so frustrating to be PM. You get blamed when someone stubs their toe, recently get accused of spraying Meningitis from an aeroplane over Kent. Plus, every time the police follow the laws someone else wrote, it’s your fault!

@philsmith1982 @DamianLow3 He didn't

Can you explain how you can attend a free speech festival in a country where apparently free speech is dead?

@EmJay_Too @DamianLow3 You can’t say that.

@DamianLow3 The rightwing paradox, swarming all over the media to tell you free speech is dead, whilst desperately trying to silence those who oppose them.

@zoomyzoomm You’re assuming she wants to have sex with a burnt out middle-aged man.

Pros of hiring this girl as a nanny: > Young (19 years old) and energetic – able to keep up with active children. > Cheap - at $20/hour > Part-time availability > Hands-on experience – ad photos literally show her holding and caring for a baby. > Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) qualification Cons of hiring this girl as a nanny: > She’s 19 > Extremely attractive > Will dress provocatively in front of your husband > Your husband will be tempted daily > Your husband will question why he stays with you > Homewrecker risk > 67% chance your husband cheats on you with her

@thekerukeion @MAVERIC68078049 You think airplanes are real? What a sheep.

@MAVERIC68078049 Good old chemtrails in the sky, useful for getting rid of those pesky bugs, spreading viruses that cause lockdowns and testing out drugs meant to turn people into supersoldiers on everyday civilians but hey at least the bugs are gone right?

I am sure many of you have noticed this.

@MarkHeath45 Please explain what an Easter egg has to do with the Christian event of Easter.

Ffs, why must we pander to Islam, in fear that they might get upset? call it what it is, a EASTER EGG!

@RabG1988 @ethandcfc77 @AFCRD The fact that Winters didn’t douche before just meant they spent ages cleaning shit off the pitch. Grim.

@philsmith1982 @ethandcfc77 @AFCRD Hate it when that happens

AFC Rushden & Diamonds can confirm that, following an on-field altercation during yesterday’s fixture against Loughborough Students, the Club has informed both Bruno Andrade and Tyler Winters that they will not be selected for the remainder of the 2025/26 season and are free to pursue opportunities with other clubs. The actions seen during the incident do not reflect the standards we expect of those representing AFC Rushden & Diamonds. As a fan-owned, community-driven club, we have a responsibility to uphold those standards and to act when they are not met. We would like to place on record our thanks to both players for their efforts this season and recognise the contribution they have made to the Club’s performances. However, on this occasion, the issue extends beyond on-pitch contribution. This decision has been made following internal review and in consultation with First Team Management, while also taking into account feedback from our supporters. We recognise that football is an emotional game, but incidents of this nature require a clear and considered response in order to protect the integrity and reputation of the Club. The Club will be making no further comment at this time

@ethandcfc77 @AFCRD They started having sex in the middle of the penalty box. It was weird and messy.

@AFCRD What happened guys Must of been bad for there contracts to be ripped up

@The_Kitsman @TeamDorling Not everyone is autistic and needs things to be exactly correct.

@TeamDorling But it’s carried on. Why have we not adapted? I’d have known you were there for the correction 😅 Quick fire Dorling 🔥

Why do we call it ‘the woodwork’ when it’s clearly made out of solid metal?

@callmek0dak @25mahfuz He’s here.

@25mahfuz where is he in this pic?

Started rocking with him as soon as I found out he played with Joe Gomez

@fesshole If I go anywhere for coffee and it’s crap I don’t go back. I don’t complain to the underpaid staff or leave a pointless review online, I just don’t return.

I own an upmarket cafe. Anyone who orders a flat white gets a latte. No one has noticed in 5 years

@keystotheinner @fesshole They just told you they were a virgin.

@fesshole Tell me you’re a virgin without telling me.

I bought my first ever box of condoms just over four years ago, thinking there was a chance I might get to use them soon. In a week they expire, unused. I'm 24 years old.

@FBAwayDays Bit of a risk with their rules about being gay.

England fans on their way to Qatar. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿