
Pitch Intel
7K posts

Pitch Intel
@pitchIntell
Finance Expert | Politics | Football analyst | Arsenal




We hired a consulting firm to tell us why our profits are down. They sent three 24-year-olds wearing vests. They spent two months interviewing us about our own jobs. Then they put our answers into a PowerPoint presentation. They charged us $250K for this privilege. During the final readout, one of them used the phrase synergy optimization without blinking. I looked around the conference room. Our CEO was nodding like he just received the Ten Commandments. The grand conclusion was that we need to increase revenue and decrease costs. I could've told them that for a gift card to Panera. But nobody listens to the guy who works here. You only listen to the guy who flies in on a Tuesday. I'm updating my resume to include synergy optimization. It feels like the right move.
















