LAS

This is not just my opinion because I don’t do opinions, This is from the Ancestors… There is this war that goes on between married people and unmarried people, and every time I see it, I just laugh. Can humans not think? I don’t understand. People will come on spaces and say, “If you are not married, you cannot speak on marriage.” But these same people, when they are sick, go to a doctor. The doctor checks them, listens to their symptoms, and tells them what is wrong. Why didn’t you say, “No, this is my body, I know myself, let me treat myself”? You went to the doctor because the doctor has taken time to study and understand the human body. Even though it is your body and you know where it hurts, you still cannot treat yourself without knowledge. It is the same thing here. You will hear things like, “I’m a woman, a man cannot understand me.” That is not always true. Being a woman does not automatically mean you understand everything about yourself or even how women think. If a man studies and understands, he can know more than you. Now back to marriage. Someone comes online and gives advice. You now say, “Because you are not married, you cannot speak.” But what if that person learned from someone who has been married for 50 years and is sharing that knowledge? So if that same person gets married tomorrow, does their advice suddenly become valid overnight? That logic does not make sense. If we follow that mindset, it will never end. One year in marriage is not enough. Three years is not enough. Ten years is not enough. Then someone at fifty years will still say you don’t understand. So when exactly does someone qualify to speak? People make marriage look like some strange cult that you only understand after entering. In reality, it is just a man and a woman deciding how they want to live together. However your marriage is, is based on what you and your partner accept. You can even have a bad character that your partner tolerates, and you both live peacefully for years. But if you carry that same behavior and advise someone else, their own partner might reject it and the relationship breaks. So are you right or wrong? Neither. It just worked for you, not for them. And this is why I don’t like all this “my opinion, your opinion” talk. If you are choosing things like house color or design, fine, opinions matter. But when it comes to serious matters, there is truth. Now let’s talk about provision in African marriage. There is nowhere it was written that the man is the sole provider. The man is the primary provider. The woman is also a contributor. Back then, the economy was different. Life was simple. People farmed, fished, and fed their families. Money was not the center of everything. Men inherited land and resources, so provision was natural. Women also worked on the farm and supported the home. That was their reality. But today, the system has changed. Money now controls the economy. Women also have equal opportunities to earn. Even in Web3, there are women making more money than men. So why are we forcing old ideologies into a new system without adapting? Don’t become a slave to ideology. Be smart enough to adapt it to your current reality. This is not me saying men should be lazy. Men should still work, strive, and aim to lead. But let’s be realistic. Today’s economy is hard. One person alone cannot always carry everything. And if your leadership depends only on money, then that is not leadership. In many organizations, the leader is not the richest person, yet everyone follows them. Leadership is beyond money. Stop turning provision into a tool for control or oppression. Marriage is not one fixed formula. It is two people deciding what works for them. And that is basically it 👌