Ave de mal agüero | ミ☆

‼️⚠️ NOT A SAFE SPACE PARA ARGENTINOS‼️⚠️ sálgase papi que por aquí no es

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

les températures d’hiver qui reviennent dans quelques jours frr à chaque fois on se fait feinter

IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL TO TAKE A NAP AND STILL HAVE A HEADACHE WHEN YOU WAKE UP. LIKE NO I SHUT IT OFF AND BACK ON AGAIN WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE

👏IF👏YOU👏CAN👏PUT👏DOWN👏A👏DOG👏FOR👏BITTING👏ONE👏CHILD👏YOU👏CAN👏PUT👏DOWN👏A👏PEDOPHILE👏THAT👏RAPED👏MULTIPLE👏CHILDREN👏

Uno se come una manzana y a los 10 minutos ya está con severa hambre, que fruta más inútil. Una empanada jamás le haría eso a uno.

This is how Twitter was meant to be used btw

Les dije a mis compañeras del trabajo que soy gay y dijeron "aaaaah puta, con razón nos gustabas" JAJAJA

when your phone is finally charged enough so you can turn over

I love overhearing dog owners talking to their dogs eg, I was petting this dog who seemed happy but then suddenly growled at me, so I left As I turned the corner I could hear his owner saying to him reproachfully, "You always do this, Oscar, you drive away all your friends"

When you forget what you where thinking about so you recreate the chain of thoughts that lead to that thought.

Yo tenía un amigo que cuando le decías "cuidado" por estar cruzando la calle con un auto acercándose, te respondía "que se cuide él que va preso". Un peatón seguro de sí mismo.

*se inventa la hora de comida para agarrar energía* yo después de comer:

When you just did your laundry and now you have all your s-tier clothes back in the closet

Cuando me quedo en casa ajena y nadie mas se levanta temprano como yo

if abortion is ILLEGAL, men abandoning their pregnant partners should be ILLEGAL too. if women can't opt out of PREGNANCY, then men shouldn't be able to opt out of FATHERHOOD either!