Pocketables

Child went down a plastic slide and tried to shock me. It didn't work. I said I guess you're grounded. She didn't get the joke. Now I have to rethink the effectiveness of all the electrical engineering books I got her as a child

Great job telling me about a storm that would end ten minutes ago Bing.. you're so close to getting me the alert right as it ends.

Good job Bing. So glad to know there was a thunderstorm warning that ended 29 minutes ago. You should be proud. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

Bing has become the Internet Explorer of weather warnings.

Google's Tensor design has come a long way

Hey imdb: add a feature where you list movies you watched and when you're looking up a different movie you see people tagged who were in other movies you've watched. No more "who is that and what do I know then from?"

Just watched Song Sung Blue and wondering how long until Ryan Reynolds digs up Hugh's grave

@NewsFromGoogle FYI contacting press@google responds that you should follow @Google_Comms which indicates you should follow @NewsFromGoogle - might want to tell someone about that auto-reply email

What if they had a CES and nobody came... One hour to unveiled and I managed to get a shot without a thousand people in it.

Picked up an in box AMD Radeon rx 6900 xt for $15 at an Amazon returns store. Largest freaking card I have ever seen.

Eight minutes after the movie is supposed to start and it's local commercials in 4x3 by 16.9 stretched for no reason. Also appears to be

Why is Apple advertising vapor cooled phones? 2018 called.

The new Gemini home has the weird annoyance of making a noise telling me a light has been turned on and then not doing it the first time

Tricia Helfer and Jeri Ryan walked down a street and multiple children exploded when told who they played

@CultureCrave If reviewed again today they'd all be about 50

Rotten Tomatoes scores for the 'Tron' trilogy 🍅

Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what you can do now for @DollyParton

I attended a security briefing yesterday on a new product. At one point it was asked if this was any different from the previous product and the briefer said no, new number and a change so they got patent extension. May be the biggest waste of time I could have been napping ever

Season 10 of Only Murders in the Building should just reveal that the main characters were killing everyone and framing others but the 3 were taking turns and didn't know everyone else was a murderer also

It is 2056 and the Taco Bell drone drops off my $7.11 limited reissue of the limited time 7-layer burrito and I am listening to the peak of 1980's music the WWF Wrestling Album on my contact lenses

It is 2025 and I pull into a Taco Bell to get a $2.37 limited time 7-layer burrito while listening to the peak of 1980's music the WWF Wrestling album on YouTube Music.

It is 1994 and I am at Taco Bell eating a 79 cent 7-layer burrito after listing to the peak of 1980's music the 1985 WWF Wrestling album on vinyl