Roy

no new year’s resolution this year as i’ve recently discovered I’m perfect and I require no changes

Before the invention of the crowbar crows drank alone

it's whose. whose pussy is this.

Oomfs titties so fuckin big bruh

Ernie Bushmiller

Due to inflation, Dollar Tree is changing it's name to Tree Fidty.

Ness, my babe! Come online already…

Decided to head to the casino and thought it would be a dogshot of money. Lo and behold, I strike the jackpot…

Season 6 Episode 11

26 laps around the sun. Yay!

@dewdewmegaDD limfow

@gvanessaxx *politely* Wanna fuck?

They just don't make time machines like they will.

Cock-a-doodle-doo is one of English's finest onomatopoeias. Whoever came up with it really popped off

At rock bottom do you want anything

There's a massive difference between showing your ID to a cashier irl and surrendering your ID to a faceless online system for age verification. One is a glance. The other is permanent.

I’ve been solomaxxing and taking pictures of everything that makes me happy

person who says “tomato, tomato” but pronounces both of them “tomato”