Kris W

@NamelessPC those arrows would be orange & periwinkle.

@duncantrussell May glorious interdimensional cupcakes with tittysprinkles grace you on this fine day.

Dogs on a plane? @adamcarolla @BaldBryan @AlisonRosen @mlynchtweets

@JordanPeele come do an AMA, reddit's got lots of love for Key & Peele!

@kpereira @zachbraff One of you has to also take /r/picsofdeadkids. Please? #reddit

@joerogan 63,000yo modern human skull found in Laos! bit.ly/SkmTMp

@MentalPoison Would you kill a puppy with a hammer for a million dollars? BTW the puppy is adorable. Big sad eyes. #twopics

@devincf You tweetsassinated Whitwhit!

@duncantrussell Costner must be the world's shittiest bodyguard.

5 more sentimental tweets and she'll come back to life.

@joerogan Kim Jong Un dead? Chinese Twitter is saying yes! gawker.com/5884033/

@worm_wood24 Dude, it's alright if you let a guy fuck you in the ass. It's god's blind spot!

@joerogan How Your Cat is Making You Crazy theatlantic.com/magazine/archi…

@peteholmez Cheat!!

@KekumsSqueakums My vote goes to the candidate the kills the entire Phelps family! #westborosuckscock

@joerogan I know how much you love nuclear reactors money.cnn.com/2012/02/09/new…

@twittels What the fuck did they do all that syrup before the invention of the pancake?

I still don't know what you're supposed to do while listening to dubstep.

@duncantrussell Bad motivator. That's why you don't buy DROIDs from Jawas. That, and the horrible slurping blowjob grunts that Jawas make.

@redban btjunkie is dead! btjunkie.com/goodbye.html