Not Now Bernard

The baby brother has completed his PhD. Whilst I’m happy for him, it means my parents will remember I exist. I was enjoying the peace and quiet whilst he was getting all the attention.

@DrTanviSacharX Who pissed on your paratha? Don’t you understand how clothes shops operate?

I ain’t hating on you honey, but this is how you know you’ve officially become an liar I mean lawyer. Say your dress from Kohls. It’s simple as that. No need to get caught up in a lie. 🤦🏻‍♀️

@girthmasterr @ItsAlinaLopez Not me forgetting I follow you on here

We can skip the foreplay next time @ItsAlinaLopez

@suggsygirl Yes we do!

@fesshole A friend of mine was killed in 2006 and I still mourn him on his birthday and death anniversary. I hope her husband realises what a heartless beast his spouse is and leaves them.

I told my husband to get over his Mum's passing, it's been 15 years since she passed away, I honestly think 15 years is long enough, especially when my Mum died earlier this year and I've got on with my life, he actually took leave on her birthday and anniversary.

@goochypie @tryquinn I will actually combust if you get to join. And my poor boyfriend is going to have to deal with me being even more of a horny bitch

Consider this part 1 of my (in)formal application to @tryquinn

@Banks1Liza Yep!

@Olibeau @Savva2 Scared the life out of me. Still recovering!

@Savva2 I think it was lightning?? I'm in Bromley North, made me jump out my skin 😅

Did anyone in Bromley witness that explosion?!

The actor who played Chief inspector Japp in Poirot is in the episode of Midsomer Murders I’m currently watching. This feels wrong.

@chiller @kim_kinloch I think the video in question was edited to make it look like a guy was doing a burlesque type performance at a mum and baby group.

My cousins are achieving their career goals. I’m celebrating finding a Barbie x NYX flip phone mirror in Superdrug after they had to cancel my online order for one.

@theguyliner I’d managed to scrub her from my memory. Is she still writing absolute nonsense for that hate rag?

Ooh so many people discovering Liz Jones today! Her take on Glastonbury is priceless:

If this ends on a cliffhanger I swear to god #LoveIsland

Should have put my headphones on earlier. They’re doing a great job muting the kissing noises #LoveIsland

@AlanKelloggs I was pleasantly surprised by his performance in HMS Pinafore.

@missnancee21 @ask_aubry Exactly what happened. OP confirmed in a comment that the amount step daughter receives is the amount that used to go to her husband.

@ask_aubry hmmm i would be willing to bet she stopped giving money to her brother because a certain someone felt entitled to is and probably wasn’t using it the way it was intended like for his daughter so she has to funnel it to her directly. they’re not entitled to her money at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

No wonder her SIL doesn't like her.

@ask_aubry I’m shocked that people on the forum thread were pointing out how ridiculous he was being. Fully expected the other forum members to agree with him.

They did not even offer him any tea!!! The barbarians.

@Tashster Happy birthday 🎂

I’m chillin’ into 37 today. 🥳 🎂 Happy Birthday to me. Happy middle of the thirties to me. Happy mid thirties to me.

The best thing about having a sibling doing a PhD is my parents ignoring me. No more grilling me on my lack of job success. I’m dreading him finishing it because then they’ll remember I exist.

Today I am grateful to whoever invented the spacer device for inhalers. I no longer feel like I’m going to pass out.