Jesus 🇺🇸

Note to self: come back to this

All the people you see liking and reposting this are complete fucking losers

People always ask "whats the Citizen Kane of video games" but I got a better question: What's the Dark Souls of movies?

Bro humans were down 3-0 and we just won game 7 this week 😭😭

I love how economists have an unofficial “ways to destroy a city” ranking that approximately goes: 1) zoning, 2) bombing, 3) rent control.

I am not buying the remake, and I’ve played the OG campaign 5 times

@EasygoingEddyG @mean_field_zane ARES, BRING ME THAT WENCH

@ptv1984 @mean_field_zane She’ll be here soon, I can sense it

I had my last-ever undergrad class Thursday. This is my last ever undergrad finals. Then we will have senior week, which I assume will be a string of events, parties, and hangouts I will not be invited to. Then we graduate. Then I sort of end up back here anyways? That’s not really what this post is about though. I expected to finally find a place to fit in when I went to college. I did, but it just wasn’t with anyone my age really (a portion of the math community aside). At some point I started running away, putting up a shell, and trying my best to avoid any exposure of what was going on to me, because let me tell you compared to what everyone else I know has said, I was uniquely alone and uniquely miserable in a way I could not wish on even my worst enemy. I began to fully immerse myself in work to a psychotic degree because a moment without work was depression-inducing, almost physically painful, because I had to dwell on my life. I did always try and promise myself that at some point I would stop and I would try and enjoy the rest of my time here, have real college experiences, actually make friends, etc. as the deadlines for these things grew nearer I began to dread. I had made no progress; I had forgotten the power of speech. Whatever obligations others had towards me were fully shirked. Eventually I just accepted it, though. I fully embraced what strange and ugly beast I had transformed myself into. Malformed, ugly, ravenous for knowledge, curmudgeonly, and certainly far less than human on a moral and sentimental level. At some point I gave up, and I stopped feeling. Looking back, I had like a few quarters of college, and then it’s been the push ever since. Just a grind. Not even the life of the mind because specialization kills. At some point I merely stopped lying to myself about what I had become. So nothing really feels major about graduating. It already doesn’t matter, it never has. I already stopped being here in any meaningful sense a long time ago. It is a really weird feeling to look back and see that I didn’t make friends or do anything social at college despite my best efforts and despite me being in the best place for it, and yet to still end up in the same spot. I am not exaggerating, I know my base rates. Maybe I’ll never get over it. Maybe it was worth it. Probably not. In my endless quest to find myself I find that I have become nothing, or perhaps less than nothing, in the sense that I still have automated physical routines and impulses towards research that constitute all observed variation in my daily life. I guess my one regret was having any hope in the beginning. I should have known it would go this way, and just accepted it from the beginning and proceeded as a machine. So my one regret is even trying at all. Especially socially. The forces of rejection are really efficient at policing and you should never ever question them. There is simply no way to fight back. Maybe at some point I started punishing myself or those around me, but hey, grim trigger and all. I tried cooperating. It’s just weird to realize that my college experience can be wrapped up in around 4500 pages or so of carefully LaTeXed problem sets and other assignments, as I literally had or did nothing else here. All I carried with me when it comes to people (knowledge of course was not an issue here) comes with me to grad school. Everything else has meant nothing at all. I guess my advice is, if you’re like me: have zero faith in others, give up early and ignore sunk costs (follow the gradient to where you belong), and you can only ever trust your mind and work ethic, just hone those. Pretend nothing else exists. Because it doesn’t.

@mean_field_zane Pickup Dark Souls brother, Mashallah

@ptv1984 I don’t wish that on my worse enemy. I can barely communicate. It’s painful.

@mean_field_zane Just wait till you find the bih who is as autistic as you (I’m still waiting)

@ptv1984 *Persisting alone

@mean_field_zane Robust?

They call me 007. 0 parties attended in college. 0 times got asked to hang out by anyone. 7 failed robustness checks.

Thunder are a disgusting team to watch, and the refs are even more disgusting for letting them get away with stuff like this. Hartenstein literally pulled Castle away from a rebound by aggressively pulling his hair, and Thunder got a three out of this play. Sickening league

Yes, but also an enormous opportunity for any remotely intelligent conservative. If you're a right-wing student, go to a T14 law school and watch how quickly you ascend.

@mean_field_zane Post a DTO Sidechat post one too many times

I was at a politics-related event on campus today and a bunch of people came up to me to ask me if I was that guy from Twitter and now I either need to commit seppuku or start a cult.

@mean_field_zane Whatever you did last night, brother I’ve been there

Chinese cigarettes are a great way to socialize and make new companions.

You may not like it but THIS is how you're supposed to play Souls games.

"We in America have no interest in being polite & orderly caretakers of the West's managed decline." —Marco Rubio

The America you grew up in doesn’t exist anymore

100 times worse than George Floyd but will barely make the news

imagine freeing one slave in your entire life and it’s Hitler

@livingdark0 Yah I know 😂, just surprised to see something like this from 10 years ago pop up again

@ptv1984 It's a long story. 4 hours long.

Bro what