Purple Velvet

Officially at an age when I shop for a mattress for lower back pain 😭

@uglybugdisco I'm happy to see Desi representation

@DudespostingWs But why

It's crazy that @iamsrk has never worked with @vidya_balan

Asking someone "So, when will you get another pet" right after learning that they lost a pet is like asking someone "So, when are you getting married again" on the day they get their divorce. It's just insensitive and stupid. Don't do it people!

@beingsumit01 Begaani shaadi mein Abdulla deewana 😂

Ranveer Singh is more comfortable in a random wedding than i am in my own house. 🙌

@LuxePosh My parents actually turn the switch off the TV off every night because they think that one small red LED is gonna increase the electricity bill drastically

IT’S WILD THAT THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAY TO SAVE SOMETHING AS A PDF IS TO LIE TO YOUR COMPUTER THAT YOU’RE ABOUT TO PRINT IT 😭😭😭

Do you think flights should have a child free zone?

I made orange cranberry shortbread stars, rose pistachio cardamom shortbread cookies and raspberry jam sandwiches for a cookie swap at work 🎄

Now Uber also has wrapped! 😶

Got called a senior citizen at work 😭

@Walgreens Omg big brother Walgreens edition. Nah not gonna rat them out. Here for just schits and giggles

@purplexvelvet I noticed your post. Feel free to DM more details of your experience, including the Walgreens location. I will be glad to share your concerns with our leadership team for review. ^CH

Somehow my local Walgreens has the most incompetent staff in the history of incompetent staff

Cats are so stupid, they don't even understand the day light time savings

The girl at the cash register asks me my date of birth. Then goes on to perform mental math and keeps messing. I stand there for 2+ mins and she's just counting on fingers. Then she gets frustrated. And asks- are you above 21?

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever tried crying along with the entire theater in Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale? 😭

Also, today is the last day of my 37th year. This year I'm just feeling so peaceful, almost to the level of being considered indifferent about my birthday. No desire to make any celebratory plans, just enjoy the day, the weather and my little domestic life. I'm ready, 38!

I'm so proud of myself that Burning man already happened and not once I posted/tweeted about how much I miss it.