hi

It’s pretty easy to walk around without your ass crack out like cmon I’m trying to protect my peace here

FMK: eating, screening, fucking

If you don’t know what I’m talking about you are likely one of them

I don’t hate many people but I have issues with those moms that want to fuck their own sons

Ushers mic doesn’t seem to be working right?

The Superbowl would be a lot better if it didn't start in the middle of the night at 6:30PM.

Watching the Grammys and all I can think is I can’t wait to read the tweets later

Do you want to hang out until we die

Tbh you can’t worry ab your figure if you drink. I could probs lose a few lbs if I laid off the booze, but what do I like to do? Drink. What do I drink? Beer. No solution to this so let’s just all go with it

I wish I could say something out loud and just press tweet the second after I say it

Having sex sober w someone you like for the first time is a big ask

Work should be a place you can twerk

@daisyeriley Both of you were just in my dream & now this

i miss kaitlyn ramsey

Can you buy self control at the store? Where can I get some.

Last night I bought tix to see fisher alone. Do you know how fucking loserish that is (but like fuck it ATMOSPHERE)

WHY AM I NOT AT THE DUNK RN FUCK FUCK FUCK

Jokic is to the sports what Frank ocean is to music. Despite their talent/ popularity they don’t give a fuck ab their fans and just cash checks

Are hangovers something you just start getting after graduation

@lockthatin If you do I’ll be inspired

Might start tweeting again

I act like I have a trust fund when I’m at the bar. “Fuck it! Shots on me!” after I woke up with -$55 last weekend.