I'm not Lisa 🇨🇦🇵🇱

Time to cancel #netlfix. I’d rather subject myself to watch an endless loop of toe fungus commercials. Even my scalp psoriasis offers more entertainment value than @netflix

President Donald Trump still owes E. Jean Carroll $88 million for rape and defamation.

I can’t stop laughing at this. 🤣

respond to this tweet with an image from a movie that always cheers you up, but don't name the movie. just the image. or gif.

John Garrett worked with 42 play by play men. I was honoured to be 25. I started hosting @EdmontonOilers games in 1998 on A Channel. John was the analyst. Lots of learning and lots of laughs. He said we were the 'other' team that wasnt on the ice. I'll miss my teamate. RIP Cheech

I paid 95 bucks to fill my tank today and it definitely wasn’t Jimmy Kimmels fault

This joke is wasted on someone like trump.

Where is Melania Trump when Donald celebrates the death of Robert Mueller? Where is she when Donald calls Americans "vermin?" Where is she when Trump calls anyone who is a Democrat "the enemy?" Where is she when people on the right celebrated Biden having cancer? Where is she when Democrats in Minnesota were killed by a Republican?

What Caesar really said

I’m old enough to remember all the times Donald Trump joked about Paul Pelosi being attacked by a man with a hammer.

Hasn’t whined about needing a ballroom to feel safe

Melania Trump says Jimmy Kimmel should be canceled. Last week her husband commented on Robert Mueller’s death: “Good. I”m glad he’s dead.” Said Pretty much the same about my old friend Rob Reiner. People who live in glass houses should’t throw shit.

Hearing erika kirk say 'I just want to go home' doesn't move me because those were likely the last words of hundreds of school children who never made it home because unlike her they didn't have a security detail.

Still to this day, when I hear "flesh wound," I think of Monty Python.

Trump a month ago:

I got really excited when I saw this picture this morning until I found out he was just asleep

60% of the time, we’re on time 600% of the time.

Oh good. Glad he’s finally getting the help he so desperately needs.