Brendan

Hey @alexa99 - is there a way to turn off "by the way" or "turned off the alarm so now i'm going to talk to you" bits?? The device says to say "be quiet" when i want it to stop but it's frustrating to ask time/weather/etc and have it go rogue. It keeps me from using the device.

@Daisy_Girl100 @WinnieSchola @BarbaraKJanik @crazyclipsonly lol if you're actually and truly asking this - everything you've just said is not currently possible

@WinnieSchola @BarbaraKJanik @crazyclipsonly So, why can’t police run the plate, and access the car’s computer. They can get GPS info, they may even be able to access the ignition, these chases are ridiculous, and put everyone in harm.

Tesla gone wild

@FredyOdashee @NoContextHumans Some of these guys are just dead now

@SurrealistShip “I haven’t played [quiet voice] the new one”

At Christmas, a eight year old asked if I had ever heard of smash bros. Nope never, let's play, I'm sure I'll have begginers luck

@Michigrimk Kinda like steve jobs’ “don’t hold it like that” - don’t crash it and you’ll be fiiiiiiine! 🤣

Laughing at the Cybertruck interior having apparently no real airbags and apparently being composed of a solid block of marble.

@GroveEsten @KraVyb @InternetH0F @3valuedlogic @kumasi_brodo1 “I Shit My Shirt!”

@KraVyb @InternetH0F @3valuedlogic @kumasi_brodo1 “Oops! I Crapped Pants” making a irl comeback.

boys what we think

@cen271 @JRRothschild13 @toJamesConnor @HC_Richardson @lawofruby Like, it's the several-dozenth time him and his organizations have been proven to be lying in courts of law, so...there's only so many "OMG TRUMP LIED" headlines they can run before it stops getting any attention. His dishonesty is a well-documented fact.

@JRRothschild13 @toJamesConnor @HC_Richardson @lawofruby Aware but referring to this *specific* fact. It should be headline - maybe below the fold, but front page. Testimony under oath that Trump org lied. It's relevant, newsworthy, and interesting. Deserving of attention, but seems downplayed, even where it IS reported.

Meanwhile, if you're wondering how Trump's fraud trial in NY is going. 👀 Doug Larson, the expert listed by the Trump Org as its appraiser in 5 years of documents, tells the court under oath that he never did that appraisal work and was unaware that the Trump organization was using his name as the source for appraisal values. Yikes. rawstory.com/trump-org-frau…

There’s really only ever been one “trans debate” I’ve thought was worth having. And it’s been done, here on French TV. So we can all move on with our lives now please, and leave trans folks in peace.

@bunnnyjuice @jzaraterod All the time? Where is it that you imagine you’re not allowed to wear Christian symbolism in a professional medical setting? Or even mildly discouraged from doing so?

You keep putting words in my mouth & arguing in bad faith. First you said I could “sit this one out” bc “I’m offended” (I’m not) and now you’re saying I am claiming “Christian’s are persecuted” when I said no such things. I’m literally saying that all groups should be held to the same standards. If “queer” group is allowed to *outwardly* wear items (and I’m not talking personal jewelry) on their medical clothing, then Christian’s should be able to do the same. Or vice versa. All healthcare orgs have a dress code that specifically tells us not to wear anything political or religious as to create a professional & cohesive environment for staff & patients as well as other reasons. If you want to wear your rainbow pin, outwardly on your medical attire, fine, but let me ask you, if your colleagues begin to wear scrubs embroidered with Bible scripture or lanyards with Jesus on the cross, that’s okay too then, right?

@hankgreen As an interested party, I was very excited, then very disappointed, then very excited, then very disappointed again in rapid succession. It was quite a roller coaster! (But quite understandable…have a great mini tour!)

I have been informed by my medical team (my brother and father) that I am not yet allowed to do two-show nights so, I apologize, but these will remain sold out!

In addition to being at @RITtigers for Brick City weekend on the 14th: rit.edu/brickcity/even… I will be doing the tiniest comedy tour of my show “Pissing Out Cancer” in Buffalo (Oct 12) and Syracuse (Oct 13). Links below! This is the first time the show will leave Missoula, and man is it weird. There are only a couple hundred tickets at each venue! Buffalo buffalo.heliumcomedy.com/shows/234270 Syracuse thewestcotttheater.com/events/hank-gr…

THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN ALL OUR TWEETS ARE DELETED

@AJRBrothers just hit up your show in Bethlehem with my kids (13, 13, and 11) and I didn’t think they were into getting dressed up for a concert until I found this on my phone after I let them use it before the show:

@buitengebieden It did so good!

This beaver was orphaned and rescued as a newborn. Watch the incredible instinct to build a dam, even though it’s never seen its parents build one..

@cassinnk @NoContextHumans lol y'all really not understanding this, or...? She slapped him because he was dramatically, theatrically winding up to slap the ass of the girl in the red pants. She found that inappropriate and slapped the guy for it.

@NoContextHumans why did the woman slap the man

@ele05944 lol you've made me google some porn, haven't you

@jinjonator123 lol a couple weeks ago Inglorious Basterds was borked too; lol the "correct" answer was the spell-checked version 😂

lol, the correct answer for today's moviedle literally isn't an option.

@StarfishPrime12 @mmpadellan @tedcruz lol guys you can just…look this stuff up. It’s not hard. Google if you want. Go to a library. Read a book. It’s all very easily accessible. You can see the tide of colors turn really nicely in map form: time.com/4561347/presid…

@mmpadellan @tedcruz Wow, dude. There is no evidence, records or census of any such “party switch” ever happening. As a matter of fact you’ll be hard pressed to find mention of a “party switch” before 2013. This was invented within the last 10-15 years.

1/x Sure. - First, the Dem party founded the KKK. - Then the Dem party wrote Jim Crow laws. - Then the Dem party filibustered the Civil Rights Act.

@Moliminous @JaceRidley This isn’t a “scared luddite” moment. Regardless of specific technology, upscaling his artwork is theft. Esp indefensible when he offers exactly what you’d like, for sale.

@PicturesFoIder Scissorses