Lovely Potatoes

Uterus: cry Me: What? Wait, why I’m not even do- Uterus: CRY.

@ilovepie84 😂😂😭

It’s that time of year again where my kids love yelling BIG FAT ROBIN!!! In the backyard Sometimes I look around and see a red breasted bird of spring … sometimes I’m alone …

@skittle624 😘

My kids just went back to college after being home for spring break and I’m totally fine. As long as no one looks at me, speaks to me, or gets near me.

accidentally bought the wrong scent of deodorant and I don't even know who I am

Normalize calling your kids assholes … because they’re assholes

From a purely logistical point of view, I think an octopus and a t-rex would make really great friends

If you’re reading this post, it’s because our servers are working

it must be spring. Walmart smells like chocolate.

Do you ever bend down to get something and wonder how you’re going to get back up? Yeah. Me neither.

Some of you need to chill all the way oot because it’s a lot

men get so mad when a woman chooses to be single. it is comical.

What I lack in how much I say I totally make up for in making it awkward as fuck when I do

14 just brought me homemade chocolate filled donuts holes he made. I raised him right.

dating is 93% holding back your crazy, 18% fart suppression, and 12% math.