matt

i swear to god my girlfriend is ragebaiting me. 'i'm so close', 'keep going', but she never actually finishes

@anndrrson 😭😭😭 that's crazy

@ruffledsavior was just at a wedding where the best man had the STRANGEST speech about this, and the wife praised the groom for being "progressive"

yes i've had gay sex before. yes it felt really good. i mean it's sex it feels incredible. no i'm not gay

@RafeGuttman :o i wuv u wafe

@ruffledsavior It's okaaay. :3

Weary of scrolling radiant glass? With scythe and sickle, I have felt grass. Nothing touches reaching in a creek, And tapping a rock worn flat and sleek, While allowing the stream to just pass.

@Lars759 did i tell you about that ? cause that is true

@ruffledsavior You at least have a really beautiful scrotum bro

i wish i had a beautiful voice. or a beautiful face. or a beautiful mind. anything really

@ruffledsavior Please God let this one go viral

i'm not embarrassed about my penis. i would put it up against any other guy's. no hesitation

@thirdimpactgirl 2nd photo best you've ever looked

i can fall in love in under a single second now. with enough training i think i can get my time even lower. the ultimate goal? to be in love with a person without ever even having met them

@thmorriss this happened to me a few times

@ruffledsavior This happened to me once cause they gave me antipsychotics that turn your dick off

if i had a son and he started crying because he couldn't get it up for his girlfriend i'd be so proud of him

i've stolen a large number of sweaty men's underwear and i am in a dark corner of my room huffing and gnawing on them in order to desensitize myself to any possible arousal that male musk could cause

@rngdetone8 thank u b2b angel

@ruffledsavior ive called the ambulance to pick u up

i bruised the inside of my ass and i have no idea how

@lebaneseogre check DMs

@ruffledsavior Show us we’ll investigate

@soupka3 the other person probably didn't love you enough (not your fault)

when someone loves you your mental illness goes away

@yo2546849631982 yes yo you are my soulmate too

everyone in the world is my soulmate and i still get no play