Rune Kanstad 🇧🇻

@MPD_6228 @eurofounder It never ceases to surprise me how many people don't understand satire. 🇧🇻

@eurofounder So you're wife was begging you to call an ambulance in immediate life-threatening pain. You, her husband, get on the Lufthansa app to try and book an 8hr flight home. Then, you come on social media. I'm calling 100% bullshit.

My wife collapsed in our hotel room in New York today “Call an ambulance, I can’t breathe” she was screaming My heart dropped If she ends up in an American hospital we are financially ruined I went on the Lufthansa app to book a flight back to Frankfurt, but unfortunately pilots are on strike today “Please I’m begging you” she was lying on the floor I sighed and called 911 She is now in surgery as apparently her appendix “almost burst” I am extremely scared This is going to cost us at least $100,000 She could have received much better care, for free, in Germany I will never visit this barbaric country ever again

@Simon_Ingari In Norway it's three months, both ways. Works for us! 🇧🇻

HR Manager: I just want to remind you that if you ever want to quit this job, you need to give us two weeks’ notice. Gen Z: Okay, and I just want to remind you that if you ever want to fire me from this job, you need to give me seven weeks’ notice. HR Manager: Excuse me? Gen Z: Yeah, if you ever decide it’s not working out and you want to let me go, that’s totally fine, but I’m just going to need you to give me seven weeks’ notice. HR Manager: Where did you get seven weeks’ notice from? Gen Z: The same place you got two weeks’ notice from. I pulled a number out of thin air and made it my standard. HR Manager: But that’s insane. Gen Z: No, it’s not. You’re asking for two weeks’ notice because you want a heads-up on me quitting, and I’m asking for seven weeks’ notice because I want a heads-up on you firing me. It’s literally the exact same core principle. HR Manager: But we ask for two weeks’ notice because we need time to find a replacement so there’s no disruption to your job getting done. Gen Z: Yeah, and I’m asking for seven weeks’ notice because I need time to find a new job so there’s no disruption to my rent getting paid. HR Manager: But if we want to fire someone, we’d probably want them to leave right away. Gen Z: And if I want to quit, I’d probably want to stop working right away. But hey, if you want notice, that’s fine—it just has to go both ways. HR Manager: But it doesn’t go both ways for anyone else. I’ve heard of lots of companies demanding two weeks’ notice when employees quit. I’ve literally never heard of an employee demanding seven weeks’ notice when they get fired. Gen Z: It’s not my fault nobody else has thought to ask for what they logically deserve. HR Manager: We had no idea you were this entitled and argumentative when we hired you. Gen Z: Look, if you want me gone, all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll be out of here in seven weeks.

@DOlivier49r @RemakingManhood @BarakRavid @MarcACaputo @axios Don't forget the DOGE checks. And the tariff checks!

@RemakingManhood @BarakRavid @MarcACaputo @axios No, they will let him say he won the war while they swim in $20 billion U.S. Dollars - that’s taxpayers dollars - we don’t get shite, Argentina, Venezuela, and Israel all received money. That is what Trump calls America First! Let’s give $$ away but the American people get SHIT.

☢️🇺🇸🇮🇷Scoop: U.S. considers $20 billion cash-for-uranium deal with Iran, according to two U.S. officials and two additional sources briefed on the talks. @MarcACaputo and I wrote for @axios axios.com/2026/04/17/ira…

@Opwernby @JoJoFromJerz It's a toss-up!

Eww fucking ewwwwww 🤢

@BrisbaneWabbit @JamJohnson29 @hr_unhinged Yes, when you have to read through 10-20 of their posts to make sure. That's the best kind!

@runekanstad @JamJohnson29 @hr_unhinged Agree! Good satire is on the cusp of reality.

Someone took the stairs to the fourth floor today instead of the elevator. I checked the security footage. It was a junior copywriter, walking up the steps at a leisurely, non-urgent pace. I waited by his desk for him to arrive. When he finally sat down, I asked why he bypassed the high-speed vertical transport provided by the company. He panted slightly and said he’s trying to get his step count up. I told him that converting company time into personal cardio is a form of wage theft. The elevator takes exactly 12 seconds. The stairs took him nearly 2 minutes. He argued that he came in early so it didn’t cut into his hours. I reminded him that early time is still company time, it’s just unbilled. I documented “unauthorized biometric optimization” in his permanent record. Then I deactivated his stairwell key fob.

@JamJohnson29 @BrisbaneWabbit @hr_unhinged That doesn't surprise me. To be fair, it's probably happened in other countries as well. I know there have been cases in Norway of emergency exits having been blocked because they "needed the space".

@runekanstad @BrisbaneWabbit @hr_unhinged I know its satire. The issue was this has happened in the US on more than one occasion.

@BrisbaneWabbit @JamJohnson29 @hr_unhinged But it's so on brand for a US employer that I'm not surprised some people fell for it.

@JamJohnson29 @hr_unhinged Detectives from the Parody Police might like to have a word too.

@klseaboldt @atrupar Well, after all the name of the painting is "Leiv Eriksson discovers America". And there seems to be a surplus of 🐂💩 there these days.

White House Faith Office Senior Advisor Paula White‑Cain on Trump's faith: "He can quote to you so many sermons. I mean, profound."

@JoJoFromJerz He's not the only one.

Donald Trump thinks his supporters are stupid.

@RoguePOTUSStaff And here my employer pays for CPR classes for all employees.

An Amazon employee was forbidden from helping with CPR when a coworker fell unconscious. Employees were told to keep working and to work around his dead body for an hour. A damning indictment of both Amazon AND modern "there's an app for that" society. thewesternedge.media/p/everyone-is-…

@coachtraveling @RoguePOTUSStaff @EricLeeAtty So just let her die, then?

@RoguePOTUSStaff @EricLeeAtty If they didn't come here it's not our problem. She wouldn't be in custody unless she is fighting deportation. Everything was her choice not ours.

Very, very sad to report that Hayam El Gamal, mother of 5 kids detained at Dilley for 10+ months, has suffered a serious medical emergency due to systematic denial of medical attention by ICE. We can now share the following: For many weeks Ms. El Gamal has been concerned about a growth on her chest that has caused pain for many weeks. She has made complaints to Dilley staff and ICE repeatedly but has been denied a visit to an outside doctor. She had specifically made requests for a CT scan to identify the lump and the source of her pain. On Thursday April 8, a doctor at Dilley told her that he had put in a request for a CT scan but "higher ups" in either ICE or CoreCivic overrode his request, and so no scan was conducted. Medical records show she had been demanding help since February, at which time she said her pain had been already worsening for 8 weeks. A doctor at Dilley said the lump in her chest was merely a bone. Mid-morning on Friday April 9, Ms. El Gamal began experiencing excruciating pain which she rated an 11 out of 10. She described the pain as being stabbed through the back to the stomach. At about 11 AM central time she began pleading with officials for painkillers and medical attention. After two hours of asking for help (at around 1 PM central time) she was taken to an off-site emergency room. While there she received lab work and, finally, a CT scan. The CT scan confirmed that the lump was not a bone, but it did not reveal what the lump was. The scan also showed she has "fluid around the heart." The ER doctor recommended an ultrasound to determine what was causing the pain, but this was denied. Ms. El Gamal was told she had to go back to Dilley and was not given the ultrasound. We do not know if the lump is cancerous, all we know is that the pain is increasing, the incidents are becoming worse and worse, and she is not receiving proper diagnosis that could lead to proper treatment. After 10 months in detention, Ms. El Gamal remains in pain. We are concerned that the systematic denial of medical attention may result in her death. Her children are extremely worried about their mother, who is now their only guardian. Her five year old child has been denied the right to go to a dentist for 13 cavities. Her 16 year old son was told to take tylenol when he suffered from acute appendicitis. All of the children are suffering from depression. Please join us in demanding the El Gamal's immediate release so that she can acquire the urgent medical attention she desperately needs. This family has suffered enough.

@Simon_Ingari That doesn't sound very dental.

HR: We lost a high-performing employee today. CEO: What happened? HR: The company hired someone fresh out of college into the same role and paid them more than him, even after he gave us 11 years. CEO: But we pay well for this job. HR: He earns 55,000 after more than a decade of loyalty. The new hire started at 70,000. CEO: That’s unfortunate, but that’s the market rate for new talent. HR: And now we’ve lost the person who actually carried the role for years. CEO: Fine. Declare the position vacant. HR: With what budget? CEO: 80,000 starting salary. Companies will underpay loyal employees for years, then suddenly find a bigger budget the moment those employees leave. The problem is rarely money. It is how little they value the people who stayed.

@BamaSaltyMarine I hope you don't mind if I steal this one!

One day, Grandpa was sitting alone in his house, watching TV and enjoying a cold beer. A few minutes later the police arrived with a picture of Grandma and asked, Is this your wife, sir? He answered, Yes, shocked. They said, I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus. He said, I know, but she has a lovely personality!

@AllIDoI42240688 @USronaldcarter But does Trump understand that?

@USronaldcarter Ronald, which country buys the most US treasuries? Trump not doing a damn thing to Japan or any other ally as he can't afford the financial impacts. Enjoy that free economics lesson.

🚨 Do you understand what's about to happen to every country that refused to help America in the Iran war.. Trump is keeping score.. and here's the list.. > NATO — refused to join the war.. only offered "readiness to contribute" to the strait AFTER fighting stops > Japan — refused to send warships.. while 90% of its oil comes through Hormuz > South Korea — refused to help.. then watched its THAAD get put on a cargo plane > Australia — refused to join.. despite being part of the Five Eyes alliance now here's what America provides to EACH of these countries.. > 55,000 troops in Japan > 28,500 troops in South Korea > 80,000 troops across Europe > nuclear umbrella coverage for all of them > $24,400,000,000 per year on overseas bases and deployments and when America needed help.. ZERO ships.. ZERO troops.. ZERO support.. only Trump can look at that math and say enough.. the people making the rules about who gets American protection.. don't seem to think the rules apply to them..

@LeadingReport Next level Darwinism!

BREAKING: Rising number of Americans refusing life-saving blood transfusions because they come from vaccinated donors, per Daily Mail.

@Tjaernas Fikk kansellert fly fra Manchester pga snø en gang. Da var de veldig profesjonelle, og sendte oss på hotell i Altrincham på no time. Og vi ble hentet av taxi 5 om morgenen. Flybytte i Frankfurt, OSL og Bodø. Men vi kom oss hjem! Bagasjen kom neste dag... Men godt jobba av SAS.

Fly hjem fra Manchester kansellert pga feil med flyer. Alle blir bedt om å gå til SAS desken - der det er nøyaktig …..null folk igjen. Kundebehandling fra brevkurs på barneskolen. Men vi har heldigvis fått en voucher på 100 kroner å kose oss med gjennom natten

@3YearLetterman @trhodes586 *yore

@trhodes586 Your dogs look taxidermied

I just had a very disturbing Good Friday encounter with an ICE agent at the airport As I was going through security, an ICE agent asked me for my ID. I told him this isn’t Soviet Russia and that the only citizenship papers I planned to show him were the Declaration of Independence “Sir, I’m just asking for ID, not proof of citizenship,” he said. “Today is the anniversary of Jesus’s resurrection,” I replied. “He was an American. Would you have asked to see his papers too? Would the scars on his hands not have been enough for you?” He was stunned silent. I strode past him without showing my ID and went through the metal detector I received a standing ovation

@OldSchool1000 @HannahIamthest1 You must be a lot of fun at parties!

@HannahIamthest1 "This story is a longstanding urban legend with variations dating back decades, previously debunked by fact-checkers like Snopes...."

A WOMAN was flying from Melbourne to Brisbane ... Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sydney. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.. Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. A man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Guide Dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight. He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, 'Kathy, we are in Sydney for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?' The blind lady replied, 'No thanks, but maybe Max would like to stretch his legs.' Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a guide dog. The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story... Have a great day and remember... ...THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR. A DAY WITHOUT LAUGHTER IS A DAY WASTED!!! 😉😁😁😁

@RugbyFella1 @VinceWestin @SenMarcoRubio Even IF adults are ever in charge again, I think we should keep our distance.

@VinceWestin @SenMarcoRubio Europe here. Agreed. Please leave and come nowhere near us until adults are in charge again

No U.S. President should be able to withdraw from NATO without Senate approval. Thankful my colleagues in Congress passed this bipartisan measure.

@HannahIamthest1 Playing the long game.

A woman, after many years of a happy marriage, has an affair and cheats on her husband. Overcome with guilt, she begins to pray. “Lord,” she says, “I know what I’ve done is wrong. But my marriage is everything to me. It gives me purpose and joy. Please… don’t let my husband ever find out.” Suddenly, a voice from above answers, “Very well, my child. I will spare your marriage — but on one condition. Many years from now, you will die by drowning.” The woman pauses, thinks it over, and finally says, “Alright, Lord. If that’s the price for saving my marriage, I accept.” Life goes on. Her marriage remains strong. Her business prospers. She lives comfortably for years… eventually forgetting all about her promise — and continuing to cheat more than once. One day, she decides to treat herself to a cruise vacation. A few days into the trip, there’s a massive explosion, and the ship begins to sink. In a panic, she suddenly remembers her deal with God and cries out, “Lord! You wouldn’t drown an entire ship full of innocent people just because of me… would you?” And the voice replies, “Innocent? Are you kidding? I’ve been working on gathering all you cheaters onto this boat for years.”