Ryan Byrne, business professional

Is Clerks 3 a good movie? No. But does it create feelings for a morbidly obese 40-something failed filmmaker? Yes. So maybe it's good?

I'm less Netflix and Chill and more Kanopy and a Good Night's Sleep

Hayden Panettiere came out as bisexual, that makes the Heroes fanfic I wrote in college 5% more accurate

My new job is spending 8 hours on twitter asking billionaires for $50k. Hey Elon, I'll call it X for $50k. Xeeting for an additional $10k.

I wish @audible_com had more Mick Foley books

What's a theatre major's favourite meal? BRECHTFAST!

My tum tum one hour after eating chili

Kid Rock looks like what would happen if a woman could get pregnant from old cum on a toilet seat

Me every time I watch Invincible

Went to Costco for lunch, AMA

I'm not watching weird cartoons about trauma I'm MTVsTheMaxxing

I'm not jerking off I'm Brandimaxxing

I'm not in a bad mood, I'm grumpmaxxing

@NathanLeverette Depends on how many jalapenos are on your bowling alley nachos

Does bowling count as cardio?

Watching Severance and the Lumon company feels a lot like working for ATCO.

@Whirlpool_CA great how your washing machine keeps getting clothes stuck in the agitator, really amazing product

@McDonalds $10k to do it, $15k and I'll be exuberant about it. Paypal me.

What @McDonalds needs is a big fat guy to eat their burger on camera. I'm available and cost way less than your CEO

@DirectEnergyCa if I switch my services over will you cancel my existing provider or do I have to?

Whoever didn't decide to name this Rousey vs. Carano fight "TERF Wars" really dropped the ball @netflix