R

@samwhyte Pickled Onion Monster Munch.

Genuinely hadn't occurred to me to make one with anything other than ready salted. I must now experiment. I reckon smokey bacon or prawn cocktail would bang.

“It may be the cock that crows, but it is the hen that lays the eggs". -Margaret Thatcher

@StreathamRovers @TreborRhurbarb United we stand, divided waffle.

On International Waffle Day we remember the brave sacrifices made by British servicemen defending Belgian territory during the First World War. #WeWillRememberThem #LestWeForget #InternationalWaffleDay

@churnwell @Sami_Historian I prefer a baker’s white boomer myself

@Sami_Historian I've just been attacked and this is how you respond?

I'm shaking. I was just confronted by some youths I was berating and one of them pulled out a big loaf of bread just like this and started hitting me with it. "Old English White" is what they shouted at me as I fled into the night sobbing.

@BazakeMedia What flavour are the innards?

🚨 | BREAKING: Cadbury has announced a new range of Easter eggs, "unashamedly celebrating the true meaning of Easter". Marketing executive, Raymond Fleur, said "the collection will show Jesus in various states of physical agony culminating in a vicious, yet delicious, death".

BREAKING: 'The Earthquake Faction' launches by setting ablaze Elbit's Israeli weapons manufacturing centre in the Czech Republic. The site was built to "service the global expansion of Israel's biggest weapons producer". No one was harmed, but photos show the site destroyed.

@Viral_Ben The antithesis of the WifeGuy

The murderer Oscar Pistorius 😡

@UC_Borehamwood @Viral_Ben Maybe you could harness the natural antimicrobial properties of honey theguardian.com/commentisfree/…

@UC_Borehamwood @Viral_Ben Something should be done about Julius Squealer too… could be a super spreader?

Utter idiots (including soon to be ex-students of ours) have been flooding the socials saying we're not doing enough to protect our campus from meningitis! Believe us, we're killing it 💪

@churnwell Don’t forget the anti fascist act of shopping at Waitrose

When I was young, people protested by going on hunger strike or chaining themselves to buildings. Nowadays they buy expensive truffle-infused foods from a fancy bakery. These people are the true revolutionaries.

The general public after watching the British SNL.

@StreathamRovers Oh mama

We'd like to wish all players, staff, volunteers and supporters a very Happy Mother's Day. We're celebrating it with these candid photos of some of our players and their own mums. #MothersDay #SRFC #UpTheGreyhounds #NeverStopNotGivingUp

This incredible image of a Turkish lino being taken out by a child's bike has been brought to my attention 🙏

Brickwork on the sidewalk, which turns into a public bench in Shiraz, Iran.

@HarvesterStallo @tohaboo Great tip and one I wished I’d known when I was 18 and decided to wear a brand new (unwashed) pair of jeans to a nightclub foam party. Woke up hungover at a mates the next morning to find I had tracked blue die all through their house… you live and learn.

@tohaboo I'm not sure about ironing but washing is a great idea because of the excess dye. Stains your white trainers if you're not careful!

I have two new pairs of jeans. I have washed and ironed before I wear for the first time. My wife thinks I am weird. Anyone else?

@churnwell @SebastianEPayne

Like the mysteries of the pyramids, people have often contemplated The @SebastianEPayne Bonce Conundrum. Now, with the aid of a super computer, we can definitively know the truth.

@TreborRhurbarb @churnwell I found out at school when the caretaker, who looked like an old 60’s roadie, burst into our classroom all flustered said “someone’s blown up the World Trade Centre… this could be the start of World War 3!” Then he just wandered off.

@churnwell I found out about 9/11 in a Little Chef 😍

Britain, 2005 ⏳

@RichardJohn @hulkingbrute It tapers. It looks like a mouse’s head.

very poor attempt at a cock and balls from the Royal Navy there

@GoodwinMJ Matt Goodwhinge

The reason the Greens & the radical Left are attacking those of us who are highlighting illegal family voting and election fraud in Gorton & Denton is because they know they will be the big losers if we refuse to give up on this issue - if we actually fix our democracy. For many years, ever since Tony Blair opened up postal voting, it's been the Left that directly exploited biraderi clan-based networks and communalism to harvest votes. Every Labour MP in Westminster knows this. Every Labour councillor knows this. Every serious journalist knows this. And so too do the Greens because they are now doing the same. They don't want us to keep looking at this because they know that if we do make changes - by restricting postal votes, clamping down on family voting, and removing Commonwealth voting - then it will be the Left that will lose, especially in urban, diversifying areas. It is ironic. The Left are the first to trace everything they don't like in politics (Brexit, Trump, etc.) to electoral interference from 'Russia', 'social media', 'Cambridge Analytica' and more. Yet when electoral interference happens to involves the Left ruthlessly exploiting illiberal and undemocratic practices they are silent or aggressively attack those who point it out. At the same time, they lecture the rest of us about the rights of women and individual choice while turning a blind eye to the ugly misogyny and dogmatism that is now taking place in polling stations and entrenching itself in our democracy. It's not me saying this; it's research, overseen by the Electoral Commission. We either care about standards at elections or we don't. What we need to do with a Reform majority or Reform-led government after the next general election is deal with what the Democracy Volunteers report points to: endemic, illegal family voting and electoral malpractice which is corroding our democracy and dividing our country. I am in touch with the relevant people to ensure there is a full policy response to this. This is not about being a 'sore loser'. It is not really even about Gorton & Denton anymore. It is much bigger than all of that. It is about ensuring we remain a democratic nation over the longer-term, where individual choice and freedom in politics is respected and upheld. So, no, this debate and policy agenda is not going anywhere. We will not save Britain if we do not fix our democracy. It is that simple.

The plan…