simon jackson

@fesshole My favourite is a former analyst in Hong Kong whose first name is Chlorophyll. Pretty cool when you think that without chlorophyll, there’d be no life…

Teaching kids in China in the 2000s, I had them choose "English names" from a long list of every cartoon character I could remember. I really hope my star student Tweety has changed her name by now.

@fesshole So I'm not the only person that calls it washing machine... I feel your pain!

Tempted to have an affair just to get a perfect kiss. Over the past three partners and marriage of 13 years all I've experienced is washing machine, chin drool and vacuum.

750 adults and children on a shipwreck. Sudanese spread out around the world. World Refugee Day celebrated by a troop of Congolese dancers in Luanda #UNHCR “Documentation is the main challenge faced by refugees in Angola” (Ibrahim, head of Refugees Association in Angola)

@fesshole Reminds me of telling a Russian studies PhD student dorm-mate that the murder of Trotsky with an ice pick was the perfect crime: the ice pick melted and they couldn’t find the murder weapon. Alas, they believed me.

His confession but I once dated a guy who couldn't understand how the Great Train Robbery happened. I asked him what meant. He didn't understand how these robbers went unfound for so long, or how they stole the trains as they can only go down the tracks.

@NoContextBrits Has-been

What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think of Britain?

#guardianlive any thoughts from John and Marina on why Kier Starmer misses so many open goals at PMQs?

@Kathbum We have a sinking fund for building upgrades. Even then, if something is outside of the scheduled improvements, we have to cough up. And yes… the roof is covered by all of us

Can the building you bought a flat in be like ‘hi we need everyone to pay £3000 each asap for a new roof’ when your flat isn’t part of the roof and aren’t maintenance fees meant to cover that?

@fdestin I guess the ratio is circa 1 to 25…

In life and in startups, you have doers and you have commenters.

@avc @avc interesting read... to what extent do you think that the development of secondary markets for earlier stage /less well-known companies will be bounded by the 'lemons' problem?

The Bad Marriage Problem avc.com/2021/07/the-ba…

@fesshole I’m waiting for the limerick summary of this one… many props to the people who write the great limericks btw!

Im a Dr and met an attractive woman at a friends birthday party. Over the course of the eve she kept saying she should place me. Eventually, I had to lean in and whisper to her that I treated her genital warts. Horrified doesn't really express her face.

@fesshole Should have started with Garageband....

I've spent literally thousands of pounds on home recording equipment and software and I haven't recorded a single song. It's just too fucking difficult.

I wish that people who didn't believe in the pandemic and masks etc were forced to spend a shift with us on a covid ward and hold the hands of patients as they die away from their families

@sainsburys your website is falling over at the payment stage:"For technical reasons, we have not been able to connect you to the page you requested". Thought u should know...

@fesshole There’s an operation for that. Pretty routine and not uncommon.

I would love to have an affair but the truth is I can't because I'm ashamed of my naked body as my ball bag hangs low and off my actual balls. I'm only just forty. I could have had an affair at least twice, and it's the only thing that's stopped me doing it.

It's critical to report cases of abuse of children so that perpetuators are stopped and children are protected. "If you see something, say something"!

@MyriamFrancoisC exactly right on the #MoralMaze" – the debate, by entirely focusing on whether the majority can criticise Islam, was entirely missing the point of real prejudice acted out daily against observant Muslims

@livedrive_com mac build 4.9.1 (85) is consistently maxing out my CPU. Is this avoidable? Thx

Wow. How will this turn out???

Wow #Ryanair – the Country dropdown list for the billing address on your website is not working so I can't pay you any money. Is that your intention???

Joy to be there with you! twitter.com/tianran/status…