samuel

there’s something weird in the link in my bio.

when Bart tells us to eat his shorts…he’s not serious right? cause actually doing that would be kind of gross

why would a bear fall for this

so there’s a band called geese...hmm new rule: if you want to hear a bunch of birds make melodies…go to the goddamn aviary

We used to read Faulkner. Now we watch Focker. Fuck this.

geese opening for swans with headliner the eagles

a broken clock is fine twice a day

april showers don’t matter

Be the nothing that ever happens

the restaurant I’m a regular at knows me so well. they instinctively gave me my food in a to-go box because they know I’m just gonna go home and kill myself

you “fumbled” her? ok thanks for putting it in ball terms

guy catching up with his old friend invader Zim: Invader Fuckin Zim. get over here big dog!

Hilarious jokes aren’t funny. They cross the line into territory beyond funny where we don’t have enough research to know if it’s safe out there

@EpicShitTV fudd day real estate

dude…your reposts are awesome

favorite record label ⬇️

You’re so funny man. Have you ever thought about going on a 60-second Instagram dating show?

@soup_gun A

@samqpeirce Grnius

@cranny__boy conceiving our sorry asses

What were moms and dads like in the 1990s?