Sam Sax

random brand: “we love your profile, we’d love to work with you on this opportunity” brand again when i’d not responded within 24 hours: “hi, just checking you got our last email, we’d love to work with you” me: “hi, is this a paid opportunity?” brand: ghosts me

had a DJ nightmare that I had to play on a V10, not sure why it was so traumatic. does anyone else have weird DJ dreams?

the way to my heart is your filthiest ID’s and bubble tea <3

me: sends press pack with aproved images for show promo graphic designer: nah i’m not using those, this random photo of her i found on facebook from 8 years ago looks way better

okay i caved and downloaded twitter again. my threads is just loads of bedroom dj’s dictating terrible industry advice to each other

@premierinn your customer service absolutely sucks. I found drugs in my room at a recent stay and your staff have lied that I reported it to them and “guest relations” are making up rules as they go along

if there is one hill that i will die on it is that babies need to be stored in the overhead bins with the carry ons

@Chris_Stark i am 100% the girl to go full beans

@jodieharsh @ACSCustomUK

@itsthewestend it’s me, i’m bitches

people that say they can’t drink tequila are such little bitches

@FirstYork Hi Chloe, this is not stated on your website. We now can’t buy a monthly ticket on the app because the device is blocked. How do we get the device unblocked?

tell ya what i absolutely live for being a nobhead on stage for 2 hours

@LwrenCharlie @easyJet Please @easyJet I don’t have enough knickers for the both of us

@easyJet where is my bag? I am stuck up a mountain fur coat no knickers LITERALLY! Please help me ASAP

lass in the club: “can I have a photo with you” Me: “no problem” Stands next to her to pose. Her: “no, I want to put my fist in your saxophone” Me: “bye”

everybody born between 1985 and 1995 saw the Super Bowl halftime show lineup and was like “sweet, instead of doing a show for old people like the Rolling Stones or Paul McCartney or The Who they did one for us young people” and then 10 seconds later it hit us

@ukmele I encourage this behaviour

i might just keep dropping edits on sundays when i’ve had a couple wines 😂

@ukmele Legend 🙏

Happy Mother’s Day.

@phildrum46 @kelis @disclosure @PicardBrothers I’m not sure my knees can take it. I did go rollerskating earlier though so it’s only a matter of time before there’s some fail videos!!