Sammy🇲🇿

Jackson is a player that I will defend until he's no longer Chels but omds when he leaves he is 100% going into that Havertz bracket of revision.

nerdy guy daughter or goth girl son?

the GOONERS tried POINTSMAXXING against the #20 ranked POINTSMAXXING team and got their CORTISOL spiked after being BRUTALLY GOALMOGGED

this is my favorite cat shape when he’s not a baby kittens, but not a full grown adult either. he’s that in between kind

🇨🇦 Ismael Kone vs Milan, Juventus & Inter x.com/vvvgjjhhhh5904…

@CFCdruw Conference League Dewsbury-Hall

I’ll forever be on the side of the Conference League being VERY important for our team. Young players gaining experience, winning a trophy together for the first time, players like Reece improving fitness, Maresca coaching in a European competition for the first time, etc.

@abuq123 @ibzsmo3k Wdym we already running a tosin and chalobah and we're still on it

@ibzsmo3k They acting like we aren’t a fofana and Badiashile injury away from running tosin and chalobah 😭😭😭😭😭

Chelsea fans seriously entertaining title talks #slowdown

I just had the most humiliating experience of my life and I can’t stop crying. I took too much caffeine this morning and, as a result, had to go to the bathroom as soon as I stepped into the gym. Worst mistake I’ve ever made. I get into the stall, lock the door, drop my pants and sit down. After a few seconds, a small sound escapes from my body; “pfffrrrrttt” As I bent over to pick my pants up, I heard something from the next stall that made me freeze. A laugh. Feeling confused, I resumed my operation until I heard something even worse. “PPPPFFFFFRRRRAAAAATTTTT” My face instantly turned red. I knew what was happening. I went through my bag, frantically trying to find laxatives in order to prevent what I knew would happen next. A loud, boisterous laugh followed by four words that broke me. “Get shit-mogged, kid.” I couldn’t believe it. I heard him leave the stall 5 minutes ago but haven’t found the courage yet to get up and leave. I’ve just been sitting here, silently crying wishing I had just stayed home. I hate this, I hate everything.

At a fancy hotel bar by myself An attractive woman in a low-cut dress walks up and leans in “You alone, darling?” she purrs “Yep. But I’m looking for someone special” She bites her lip. “Maybe that’s me,” she flirts “Doubt it,” I say, sipping my drink I look her dead in the eyes “What can you offer me?” “Whatever you need,” she whispers I pull out a fresh stack of USDT on my phone “Cool. What does this get me?” She leans in and whispers the kind of filth that would get both of us banned from polite society I shake my head “No, I’m good” I stand up, leave her with the bill, and walk over to a sweaty Eastern European guy in a tracksuit staring at Dexscreener like it’s the Rosetta Stone I slide him the USDT “Explain to me,” I say, “how to turn $500 into $500k with a meme coin that launched 11 minutes ago on a chain nobody’s heard of” He adjusts his sunglasses, cracks open a Red Bull, and starts talking about liquidity lock, sniper bots, presale wallets, holder dispersion, and why the dev’s Telegram profile picture being a Shiba Inu in a suit is bullish His alpha is so powerful my eyes roll back and I start involuntarily moaning Security asks if I’m okay I tell them I’m just learning how to become a millionaire One of the greatest networking sessions of my entire life

Having to root against Caicedo for once

Reinildo starts. Said no FPL manager except me.

You're more than just free throws goat

@KopFinest @jaaameeeeees

@jaaameeeeees One of my pet peeves. A niche fact isn’t a pub quiz fact. To the people that say it, have they ever been to one? It’s usually who acted in this and what is the capital of Mozambique. Does my head in, recycled joke garbage.

How is that a cracking pub quiz question? What would it be? "Did Cristiano Ronaldo once score against Exeter City?"

garnacho we need something from you today

Reinildo please I love you bit disasterclass today please

@Connfc_ The goat himself who else

Haven’t done one for a while so if Chelsea win tomorrow, I’ll giveaway a Chelsea top of your choice. Just like this tweet and reply with a player you’d like on the back. Up the chels.

“No butter?” Yes.

@BaldeWaves TfC influence

😭😭😭😭😭😭

@Iewdawg Lewdawg washed

how many dissent/arguments?

Tennis fans on twitter are horrific it's just degenerate gamblers who claim that every match is rigged and hurl insults for no reason